Catching up to Speed

It has been a long time since I blogged. If any of you saw a "Cultural Identity" Blog from me, that was for a school project. Yes, I am still in college. I took last year off due to all the medical issues. I didn't want to take a break since I am definitely not getting any younger, and college is not getting any easier, but health wise I had to. I'm happy to report that as of July 2013, all my tests came back good and Courtney was back to being Courtney once again.
I have about two and a half years left of college. It has become increasingly hard to keep up with school and exams while trying to raise three kids. However, I know once I FINALLY graduate, I will feel so good knowing that I stuck it out.
My three amigos have grown up so fast. Lately I have had a hard time excepting that they are not "babies" anymore. I feel like time is going by so fast that I am going to blink and they will all be grown!
Joe Mack is in 6th grade this year. I still treat him like he is 6, and want to walk with him to the bus stop every morning. He reminds me though," Mom, I can walk myself to the bus stop. You don't have to come with me." I kept doing it for the longest time until Joe finally said to me," Babe, you have to let him grow up some time." Sigh. So hard to hear those words. The past two weeks I finally let go and started letting Joe Mack walk by himself. Although, everyday when he gets home from school, he comes in and gives me a big hug. As long as those never stop-I think I will be okay.
Sydney is in 3rd grade this year and is as sassy as ever. She is very independent and strives for perfection (hmmm....wonder where she got that from...). She is on a little league drill team and is going to her very first competitions this Spring. I am so excited!!!!! I love that she LOVES dance! I know I had a part in that, but she also really enjoys it! Dance comes very natural to her and she is an amazing stage performer. The two of us have grown very close as she has gotten older. She goes with me on the weekends to run errands so as she puts it (can escape all the boys!) Love her!
And my youngest baby Aiden started preschool this year! That was soooooo hard for me! We don't plan on having anymore children so knowing my last baby started school was a tough pill to swallow. Aiden loves school though and he apparently has two "girlfriends." I was not prepared for that one! Ha! Crazy boy!
Joe is officially a career recruiter now. I was hesitant about the decision, and we prayed about it for a long time. We finally felt it was the best decision for our family. We own a home, live close to all the grandparents, and the kids are happy. Recruiting can be really tough at times, but we try to overlook all the negative and focus on the fact that we are finally settled and hopefully no more PCS moves are in our future!
Here are some pictures from this weekend!

Posing with my babies!

Our three Jack o Lanterns!

With Arms Wide Open

I was at the gym today and a song came on my random shuffle that I’ve not heard in years: “With Arms Wide Open by Creed.” It took me back to a time when I was barely 20 and newly pregnant with my first born-Joe Mack. It was early fall in 2001 and Joe had just left on a deployment. I found out I was pregnant right after he left. (Literally two weeks later!)

I remember being so nervous to tell Joe, and really not knowing how to tell him?! This was before Facebook and Skype. Back then we only had email. So I sent Joe a message telling him to call me ASAP, that I was not hurt, but needing to speak with him as soon as he could get to a phone. Within two hours he called and had already guessed I was pregnant! He was so excited, but we both cried a little on the phone knowing he would miss my pregnancy and possibly miss the birth of our first child.

A week later Joe emailed me and said he had been listening to Creed the night before. He said that “With Arms Wide Open” had come on. Joe went to explain how afraid he was to become a father so young (we were only 20), but that he was going to give everything he had and more to that little baby. He also let me know that he felt it was going to be a boy and that this boy would be just like him. (of course)

For the rest of the deployment I listened to that song every day as well as sing it to my little unborn baby. I was ready to give this amazing blessing everything the world had to offer. The day I found out if the baby was a boy or a girl, Joe was able to be on the phone with me. As soon as the wand touched my belly-there was no denying this baby was a boy. The happiness in my husband’s voice as well as being able to share this first time experience (even via phone) was amazing. Joe promised me that he did not care what he had to do, or what hoops he had to jump through, he was not going to miss the birth of his son.

And sure enough, 4 weeks before Joe Mack was born-my husband was able to come home. When he left I was a size 2 and when he came back I was eight months pregnant!

It is so hard to believe that was ten years ago! Now we have three kids! And Joe has been present for all of their births! Watching each of them grow into their personalities and listening to their ideas about the world and life is the best gift God could have ever given me. Most of you know that I had quite the health scare over the past few months. Joe and the kids almost lost me in July, but by the grace of the good lord above-God decided my time on Earth was not over yet. Listening to that song today reminds me how precious life can be. I look at my three children and love them more than life itself. I will be forever grateful to God for looking out for me and allowing me to regain my health so I can watch my babies grow up. I will always be there to help show them the world and teach them right from wrong. I will always be there for broken hearts and disappointments. I will always be my children’s biggest cheerleader. I will forever be their mother no matter how old they get-with arms wide open.

Remembering tender kisses and falling in love all over again

Like the 50 million other women in America-I hopped on the bandwagon and read “50 Shades of Grey” a couple of months ago. Holy moly-I was blushing like I was a fifteen year old girl about to get her first kiss! The erotic scenes in that book are enough to set any woman over the edge. I am not a fan nor have I ever tried or will try BDSM. I consider myself a hopeless romantic and enjoy the fairytale with candles, wine, sweet tender kisses-you get the picture. I had been hearing all the hype about this book series in the media and on Facebook and became intrigued. I absolutely loved all the books! Dr. Oz had a special on his show about how this book had “spiced up” sex lives in marriages. And I must say, it did get my mind in that place.However, it was not just about sex, but rekindling a connection with my husband. That spark that draws two people together tends to dwindle down after children and careers come in the picture. It becomes less important and soccer practice and dance class, as well a grocery shopping and late meetings at work take over. Finding time to keep that romance alive seems impossible at times and as the years go by it takes a backseat to being a parent. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I adore our children! We were married young and became young parents. It all happened so fast along with adjusting to being a Marine wife. Making time for romance and tender kisses were not on top of the priority list.

As I read “50 Shades," it took me back to a time in the summer of 2000 when I had met my husband. The way we would talk on the phone for hours, spent every waking moment together, laughed at everything, and shared many of tender kisses. I remember the torture of spending three months apart while he was in boot camp and how it made us realize that we HAD to spend the rest of our lives together. My husband is my rock, my soul mate, my best friend-this man is my everything, and has been since I was 19. “50 Shades” woke something up inside of me that I honestly believed had disappeared. It helped my husband and I rekindle a spark that has been there all along, it just needed some TLC. I feel like over the past 3 months I have fell in love with my husband all over again. Life will throw curveballs and completely knock you down, but the important thing in a marriage is to stick together-and always make time for tender kisses.

Bribery always works.....

One thing about being a mom to three children that I have come to realize is that I have very little control in my house. No matter how hard I try, or what method I attempt to use, nothing works-except bribery! Sure, I understand that is a horrible way to reach my kids but a mom has got to do what a mom has got to do! When it comes down to needing to take a shower or just simply using the bathroom with three kids screaming and fighting as well as breaking my precious ceramic collectibles all while I am in the potty-I am willing to try anything at that point! So yes-I bribe my kids with suckers or whatever candy is available in the house (we always have leftovers from Halloween or Easter). I put on a movie and say," Here is some yummy candy and if you would like some-then let's sit down, watch our movie quietly while mommy goes to take a shower." Works like a charm everytime! Being able to use the bathroom and take a shower in peace are like heaven to me…So moms-don’t beat yourself up if you feel temptation to pull out the candy jar, I do it at least three times a week! Haha….

You Had Me From Hello

            I’ll never forget the first night we met. It was the first weekend in May 2000. The annual Crawfish Festival was going on and my mother and I had just moved to Spring, Tx. from Friendswood, Tx.  I was 19 and not really sure where I was going in life. My parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce, and I had decided to end a horrible relationship with my high school boyfriend.  My friend Tiffany’s boyfriend at the time, Dustin, had been trying to set me up with you for weeks. I kept telling him that I had sworn off men for a while after dealing with a jerk and then watching my parents horrible divorce. I was at Tiffany’s when Dustin showed up that Saturday night. Tiffany was sick and I was keeping her company. Dustin asked me if I wanted to ride with him to go get food and a movie for Tiffany and I thought, “Sure she’s asleep anyway.” When I walked outside, I noticed Dustin did not have his truck. I asked him,” Whose truck is this?” He said, “Oh it belongs to Joe. I borrowed it for tonight. We have to go pick him up from work.”(He was winking at me as he said all this.) “Dustin, I told you, I am not interested,” I shouted at him. Dustin started laughing at me as we drove off. Twenty minutes later we pull up to the Best Buy parking lot in the Woodlands. You were standing there, angry. Dustin stopped the truck and you shouted at him, “You were supposed to be here 20 min ago!” Dustin just shrugged and laughed. The moment you sat in the driver’s seat I thought,” Oh my….he smells so good….” Then you extended your hand and said,” Hi, I’m Joe. You must be Courtney, nice to meet you.” When I grabbed your hand, instantly I felt a spark run through me. I couldn’t take my eyes off that smile and those blue eyes. When we got back to Tiffany’s, you and I sat outside and talked for hours. We had this immediate connection, like magnets. A week later you took me on our first date. We went to see the movie “Frequency” with Dennis Quaid. That same night you also gave me our first kiss. I had been kissed before, but that kiss from you felt like my real first kiss.

          

 From that moment on-we were inseparable. I struggled a bit during those first few months because I did not understand what I was feeling for you. We were both 19, and our feelings were so strong. I honestly did not think it was possible to find my soul mate at such a young age. But I did, and the Christmas of 2000, seven months after we had been dating, you proposed to me with a silver ring from a gumball machine. You said it was all you could afford at the moment, but you promised to get me a better ring before the wedding. When you proposed to me, you said,” The night I met you, I felt like my life really began. I feel so alive when I’m with you.  I cannot imagine a day without you in it. How would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?” I cried….frozen…..could not believe this was actually happening to me. I swore that I was not going to get married. Watching my parents’ divorce after 21 years of marriage scared me into not believing in marriage anymore. After about a minute of your proposal, I looked at you and said,” Yes! I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the only person for me.” There was one catch to our engagement and planning a wedding though. You were leaving for Marine Corp boot camp, three weeks after you proposed. The day you left for boot camp was the hardest day I had experienced in my life thus far. We had not been apart AT ALL for 8 months, and now we were going to be apart for 3 months with only letters to communicate! No phone calls, emails, texting, only letters-old school style! I wrote you every day, and you wrote me every day. I started planning for a big September wedding and told you all the details in the letters. Finally, 3 very long months later, April came and it was time for your boot camp graduation. I flew with your family to San Diego. The first time I saw you, my heart just melt. That first hug and kiss I got from you was so magical. You pulled me off to the side and said, “I did not think you would wait for me.” I looked at you, astonished, and said,” But why would you ever feel that way? I wrote you every day. You are my world Joe!” You looked at me with tears in your eyes, and hugged me again. After boot camp graduation, you and I decided we wanted to just elope and then we would have a big reception in September. We couldn't stand to be apart anymore. When we told our parents, they were not happy and wanted us to be married in a church. So your wonderful mom and mine managed to plan a church wedding in a week while you were on boot leave. On April 28, 2001-we said I do. It was the perfect wedding, perfect sunny spring day, and we were both so amazingly happy. At our reception, we danced to “You Had me From Hello” by Kenny Chesney. We danced to it on our 4^th date, and it became our song.

 Joe from the moment you took my hand and introduced yourself to me twelve years ago, I fell in love with you. You have given me a life that I never could of imagined. God led us together and gave us three beautiful children. I love our crazy, chaotic, messy, yet so wonderful life. Thank you for being an amazing husband and best friend.  Happy 11 years baby! You truly had me from hello…

Shake it Out

My life has been consumed with stress that last 8 months with three kids, college, and my husband's crazy work schedule. Due to all the stress-my body has been slowly trying to tell me that I needed to take a break. I've had weight loss, migraines, female troubles, getting sick all the time, insomnia, low energy, and no appetite. However, I kept ignoring the physical signs attributing them to just getting older. Last Thursday afternoon, March 8th, I was cleaning up my toddler's toys and when I stood up my chest caved in and I could not breath. I felt as if I was having a heart attack! My husband rushed home and asked me if I needed to go to the ER. I told him that it was probably just anxiety. I had some Xanax in the house so I took half of one. An hour later the symptoms had not really eased up, so I took another half. I finally was able to stop my panicking but the chest pains were still there. First thing Friday morning I called my doctor and got an appointment. I told her everything that was going on so she did an EKG and that came back fine. She assumed I pinched a nerve, gave me some prescriptions, and then wanted me to have an X-Ray on my way out. She said she would call me with the results if there was anything wrong. I went to CVS and 10 minutes after I was there she called me. She said," Your right lung has collapsed and I need you to go to the hospital ASAP." I froze-could not move. I was standing in the middle of CVS, right in front of the pharmacy. I cried and asked her," What does that mean? Am I going to die?" She replied," No, no-please don't think that way but I do need you to go immediately to the hospital." I hung up with my Dr. and just froze with tears streaming down my face. All the people at CVS were staring at me, not quite sure how to react. I called my husband who was at home with our toddler, then called my mom. I literally could not gain composure to put one foot in front of the other to drive home. I finally took a deep painful breath and prayed for God to guide me home safely. As soon as I got home, I broke down in my husband's arms-scared to death. I hugged my two year old extra tight and as soon as my mom arrived-off I went to the ER.
When I arrived they whisked me back, gave me drugs, and inserted a chest tube in my right lung. I was loopy from the drugs but I remember looking at my husband saying," I love you so much, and I AM NOT ready to go yet." He smiled at me and said," Baby I'm a bad ass Marine and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you!" I laughed a painful laugh, then started to drift off to sleep from all the drugs. They put me in a hospital room and kept me hooked up to the chest tube for a day, then took it out the next. After 3 days and several X-Rays-they said the hole in my lung was gone and had completely inflated back. They doctors said there was no explanation for what happened-no blep, no trauma, no disease-nothing. Just a random accident...
When I got home I hugged my babies like I had not seen them in years! They had come to see me at the hospital-but it was not the same as being home with them. My first night home, after my kids were asleep, I had a emotional break down in the kitchen and started sobbing. My husband came rushing in asking me," Are you okay? What's wrong?!" I said," I am just so thankful to the good lord above that I am here and okay! I love you and those kids more than life itself! I have got to eliminate the stress! Life is so beautiful..."
And it is-nothing is worth your health! It is amazing how stress can affect your body not only mentally-but physically as well. The doctor told me that for the first week I had to rest and not pick up my toddler (so hard). My husband took off  this week to help me recover, it's also Spring Break, so my older two are home as well. I am scared though, when he goes back to work, to be left alone. What if it happens again? I feel as if I have PTSD from what happened! However-I can't live life that way!  God helped me get through this ordeal and I know he watches over me and my family everyday. I just pray to regain my strength and "Shake it Out"- because I refuse to allow stress defeat me anymore.

Rodeo Time in Houston

It has been a crazy, hectic, never have time to come up for air-two weeks! Today is the first day I feel like I have a spare minute! My daughter Sydney got to participate in the Mutton Bustin Competition at Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. For those of you that are not from the Houston area-the Rodeo is the biggest event of the entire year for the city. Everybody pulls out their boots and hats to get ready to rodeo! They even have "Go Texan Day" at the schools where the kids wear their best western get up and learn line dancing in P.E. (I know-only in Texas) Every year at the Rodeo they have Armed Forces Appreciation Day and invite all the military families in the area to come enjoy a day at the rodeo for FREE. They even have a food tent with free BBQ just for military families. Such a great way to support our troops and families! Every night at the Rodeo, they have a Mutton Bustin competition where 5 and 6 year olds ride sheeps and whoever rides the longest wins. My daughter along with a few other local military children got invited to participate. There are thousands of kids in the area that try to enter to do this and they are normally selected by a lottery. But because we are military and it was Armed Forces Day-they chose military children. Sydney did outstanding! She came in 2nd place and 1st place went to a girl also. Girls rule!!!! Before Sydney got on the sheep I was trying to pump her up and told her," Hold on tight and don't let go." She looked up at me and said," Mama don't worry, I am going to show that sheep who's boss!" Love my girl! Here is the video from the event and she is in #1. My little cowgirl....

http://youtu.be/L3YgB5ok4DE