Life is not about the journey, it's the Arrival that Counts

Life has a funny way of dictating to you sometimes, don't you think? Just when you think you have a grasp on the "great unknown" BAM...life comes down and slaps you square in the face. As most of you know by now, this will happen multiple times. Learning to get up, put your BIG GIRL PANTIES on, and keep going is a lot more challenging than you may realize.
 When I was 18, I had my life all mapped out. I was going to attend Kilgore Junior College and be a part of the Rangerettes, (if you do not know what that is-use GOOGLE) then transfer to UT in Austin and major in broadcast journalism. The rest of my life dreams went something like this: "After UT I will move to NYC and work for the TODAY Show and finish up my masters at NYU. One day I hope to be the next Katie Couric". My boyfriend at the time was the epitome of a Class A Jerk and I was ready to ditch him to the curb upon high school graduation, leave town, and never look back. The day after my high school graduation, my mother informed me that she was divorcing my dad. They had been married for 21 years, but all I said to her was," Well it is about time mom!" My father was an Alcoholic and frankly, my mother and me were just DONE with all of it. I did not realize until later how deeply the words "divorce" affected me. Within a month, my mother was packing up our house and moving into an apartment. I just felt that I could not leave her, after everything she had been through with my dad. So I made my decision: I will go to a community college, then transfer to UT....
A year later we moved to the opposite side of Houston, my mom had a boyfriend, and I dropped out of college. My dad was no longer speaking to me because he thought I was taking my mom's side. He cut off all funds for college forcing me to drop out and I did not qualify for financial aid. My dreams of NYC and the TODAY Show were a distant glimmer. I was 19 and working an administrative job when I met the man of my dreams. He came into my life when I had almost given up all hope on anything good. He was a true gentlemen and showed me that love still existed. A year later he joined the Marines and we married-at the tender age of 20. I did eventually leave town, but not the way I was so certain of two years earlier...
Four months later I found out I was pregnant and my new Marine husband had just left for a 6 month deployment. Honestly, college was the furthest thing from my mind. I was 21 when I had my first child. While all my old high school friends were staying up all night partying at college-I was staying up all night tending to my newborn son. Fast forward nine years- I had two more children, endured numerous deployments, and put college on the back burner.
Finally in 2010, the Marines approved my husband for Recruiting Duty and we moved back to our home town. As I approached my 30th birthday I yearned for something more. I loved my husband and adored my kids, but I felt there was this gaping hole in my chest that no matter how hard I tried-I could not fill it. Forgive me if this sounds cliche, but I felt like like that old Reba song, "Is there life out there?" If you don't know it-here it is:

With quite a bit of coercing from my husband, I finally decided to enroll in college three months shy of my 30th birthday. Going back to college while taking care of three kids has been the most difficult thing I have endured in my life so far. Some of my college professors assign a tremendous amount of homework which I feel I have ZERO time to finish; not to mention that my oldest two have their own homework and a two year old running around corn holing everyone and throwing things. I try to stay up late at night to finish my homework but I fall asleep from sheer exhaustion. Some days I just want to scream and throw in the towel. Why am I doing this to myself?
I honestly don't have an answer to that question, but I am not giving up until I find out. No matter how long it takes me-I AM GOING TO FINISH. I read in Diane Keaton's biography, " Life is not about the journey, it's the arrival that counts." Nothing in life is ever going to be easy. In order to accomplish personal dreams and goals, whether you are 18, 31, or 72, you must be prepared to persevere. I truly believe that God and life know what is best for each person. It may not be the "little girl day dream" that you once envisioned-but believe it or not-LIFE could be EVEN BETTER if you allow it.