Roll with the Punches

 I recall when I had my first baby-I was completely neurotic and “by the book.” My borderline OCD personality was in full effect and just about drove my husband mad. I greeted everyone with hand soap and sanitizer as soon as they entered my house. If they wanted to hold my new adorable son Joe Mack, I insisted they change their shirt or put one of my “clean” blankets over their shoulder. I would also wash his crib sheets every other day, disinfect his toys at the end of every day, and if he dropped his binky-I would toss it and go buy a new one. Three years later I had my daughter Sydney. I became slightly less neurotic and just made people wash their hands if they wanted to hold her, instead of attacking them with the sanitizer as soon as they walked in the door. I also did not make them change their shirt and if Sydney dropped her binky I would clean it in boiling water for 5 min-exactly, instead of throwing it away.  I was so obsessed with germs and mommy self-help books that I was also driving myself insane along with my husband, ( poor guy.) Four years after having Sydney and seven years after having Joe Mack-along came Aiden and we grew to a family of 5. All of those compulsive behaviors seemed so insignificant after my 3^rd child. I was lucky to remember to brush my hair or take a shower, let alone worry if somebody had washed their hands before picking Aiden up. I was just thankful for the help and to catch a nap -at that point I honestly didn’t give a shit if my house was “clean.” I felt like I was in a constant state of delirium.

Learning to balance motherhood and three children has definitely made me lighten up.  Don’t let that fool you though-I am and always will be the Type” A” personality, however,  in order to maintain what little sanity I have, here are my tips on “letting crap go” where kids are concerned:

- It is not a great idea to greet your guests (that have come to visit your new bundle of joy) with hand sanitizer and Lysol at the front door. If you would like some sleep and a break, it might be better to just ask them nicely to wash their hands instead. We are not in Contagion and nobody is going to die.

- Just go ahead and accept the fact that your house-will NEVER be clean. There will be toys everywhere, piles of laundry, and food on the floor. Stop acting like the people from Southern Living are coming to photograph your house.

-Kids are going to get sick, regardless of what you do. When one starts throwing up, be prepared that the others will soon follow.  Grab a mask and gloves, wash all the sheets, spray Lysol on EVERYTHING else, and pray you make it out alive.

-  Don’t FREAK if your precious baby puts his binky back in his mouth after dropping it outside.  Always have a spare binky that looks JUST LIKE the other one-that way you can do a 1-2-3 swap, and your baby will never know the difference. Now go boil the dirty one in hot water and relax-your baby is not going to get the Ebola virus from putting a dirty binky in his mouth.

- Siblings are going to fight; it’s a part of life. The quicker you learn to accept this, the easier your life will become (I am still working on this one). There will be black eyes, pulled hair, scratches, and even broken TV’s….just make sure you have some good alcohol in the house to treat yourself,  for really bad days.

- It will become next to impossible to make it on time to anything with a house full of kids. Trying to hunt down clean clothes, fixing miss-matched socks, packing a diaper bag, and dealing with screaming kids that don’t want to go anywhere-makes you reconsider the importance of those errands. If you have to leave, count on being late, take ½ of a Xanax-and breath. You have 3 children; most people will be surprised you even showed up!

- When you get 3 kids together in a house-they are going to be destructive. The idea that they will all sit and play quietly-will never happen unless they are sick. Send them all in the backyard, lock the door, go hide in the corner and treat yourself to some ice cream.

- You are not the world’s worst mother if you don’t feed your kids organic. I know it is important, but realistically kids do enjoy Capri Sun’s and Kraft Mac n Cheese. So, go ahead and let them enjoy it ONCE and a WHILE. Would you eat some of that organic crap? Then why do you think your kids would?

Motherhood is messy, chaotic, and sometimes you might feel like nothing goes your way. But as soon as you hear their laughter or receive those PBJ kisses, it makes all the craziness seem insignificant, or at least temporarily. As a mother you gotta learn to just “Roll with the Punches.”