New York State of Mind

There are a lot of perks to being a Marine wife; some of them include getting to do some pretty cool stuff!  Over the years I have had the privilege of accompanying my husband to: George W. Bush visiting MCAS Miramar (and Joe got to meet and take a picture with him); free tickets to NFL and MLB games because he is a part of the flag ceremonies; getting to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers practice on our base and meet them too; free tickets to concerts and also meeting-Gretchen Wilson, Van Zandt, Shinedown, and KISS.  However, a year ago I took this next opportunity upon myself and for once my husband had nothing to do with it-well kind of…

For those of you that don’t know, Joe and I won a trip to NYC last February and met Kris Jenner and were on the Rachael Ray show.  I am a fan of her show on Facebook and the produces posted a status asking about husbands obsessed with football. Well any of you that know my husband…know he is OBSESSED with the Longhorns and college football. I tell him all the time that he should be a football coach when he retires from the Marines.  I wrote the producers and told them about Joe’s obsession and compared him to Jimmy Fallon in “Fever Pitch.”  Somebody must have liked what I wrote because NY began calling me two hours later! The next thing I knew, I had camera crews in my house filming and interviewing us then 5 days after I first wrote in, I was flying to NYC-on Superbowl Sunday!!! Joe was a little upset that he missed the game and the airline did not play it on the plane. But I kept telling him,” Um hello, free trip to NYC!! “But like I told you…he LOVES his football.

We landed in Newark at 11:30 at night. Flying in we could see all this SNOW! It amazed me, being a Houston girl and all. We had a driver waiting for us that drove us into NYC.  Joe and I were amazed at all the lights and buildings, it was magical. We stayed at the New York Helmsley Hotel in the business district, a few blocks from Times Square and Grand Central Station.  We stayed up till 3 am that night because of all the excitement. We were like giddy teenagers on a field trip jumping on the bed! It was truly hilarious!

The next morning we were up bright and early, still running on pure adrenaline. I got a call from the producer saying they were going to pick up us at 9am for some extra filming; we were not doing the show until Wednesday. They decided to turn our story into a Valentine’s Day show and played on the fact that I don’t wear lingerie much (of course I don’t…I have 3 kids, sex is the last thing on my mind!) They took me to a little store called La Petite Coquette and took Joe somewhere else. The owner of the store shut it down so I could shop-CRAZY!!! I could pick out anything I wanted and the show was going to buy me one. This store is NOT like Victoria’s Secret!  The lingerie is good quality, imported from Europe, and is VERY expensive. Celebrities shop here-not a normal girl like me!  They were filming me pick out stuff and a lady walks into the store and says my name. I look up and it’s Kris Jenner!!!!!  I am looking at her thinking, “What are you doing here??” She starts talking to me and I am trying my hardest to not laugh my ass off! She helps me pick some things out and wants me to try them on. I have to say; Kris Jenner is the sweetest, most down to earth person considering who she is! Then Joe showed up, we showed him the lingerie Kris Jenner picked out for me and that was it. We were free to have the rest of the day and all day Tuesday to explore NYC! The producers even gave us per diem!

http://rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/kris-jenners-lingerie-makeover/

Joe’s cousin, Carrie, lives in SOHO. She was such a blessing because if we did not have family there-we would have been SO LOST! Carrie took time for us Monday afternoon and all day Tuesday to show us around NYC. We went to Ground Zero (which I cried almost the whole time), Empire State Building (amazing), Central Park, and so much more. Joe and I “attempted” to ride the subway by ourselves-which was the scariest 2 min of my life! We walked over to Rockefeller Center  which was BEAUTIFUL! I idolized Katie Couric as a kid and dreamed of one day working for the Today show, so standing outside of it was almost a dream come true!  We also attempted to walk into Times Square at sunset but the Tuesday we had to site see was a very cold day with a wind chill of -3.  New Yorkers are used to this kind of cold but Texans, ARE NOT. As we were walking up, my lower lip went numb and my feet were throbbing. I was talking like I had just been to the dentist and drooling on myself!  I told Joe to get me back to the hotel ASAP or we were going to spend our last night in the ER! After a VERY HOT bath, I felt much better! We decided to spend our last night having dinner at The Grand Central Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station. As soon as we walked into that place we were in awe…literally my favorite place in NYC. It had such beautiful architecture and there was something romantic knowing how old this building was and that millions of people had passed through here! Unfortunately my camera did not take good pictures in there for some odd reason :-(

The next morning we reported to the Rachael Ray studios for filming. We had our own dressing room and I had someone do my makeup and hair! When it was time for us to go out on the stage I was a nervous wreck and felt like I was going to throw up! There were all these people in the audience staring at me! Then Rachael Ray walks up to me and says, “You’re the girl that does not like to wear lingerie! Girl if I had your body I stay in it ALL the TIME!” Of course that made me and the audience laugh and my nerves went away. When the cameras starting rolling I just ignored my nerves and played up the humor! At the end Rachael asked me, “Well Joe says he wants you to wear something sexier to bed, what does he wear?” I said,” He wears T-shirts with holes in them and old boxers!” Everybody laughed so hard! I don’t think Joe liked it too much and I apologized profusely for embarrassing him! It was my way of dealing with the nervous knots!

NYC is an amazing city! Obviously it was cool to be on TV and meet Kris Jenner and Rachael Ray, but I just LOVE that city. If I could land a kick ass job and move my family there, I would do it in a heartbeat.  I am in love with NYC and since last February, I have been in a New York state of mind.  

Terrible Two's are taking over my house...

I thought I knew just about all there is to know about the terrible two's considering I have three children. NOPE! I must warn you now: I do not have much of a filter and I tell it like it is-no sugar coating from this girl!

Look at the sweet little face! This is Aiden-my youngest and last baby. He looks just like me! I bet looking at this picture you could never imagine this child being bad. Well let me enlighten you...
It all started last summer when he approached the lovely age of 2. All of sudden my sweet baby boy disappeared and this crazy child re-appeared that frankly scared the shit out of me as well as my husband. After Joe has been home for a little while, he will "pretend" he has to go to the bathroom all the while he is playing Angry Birds on his phone to hide from the madness. You would think considering Aiden is my third child that I would be used to such toddler age obstacles, well think again. My other two were mere angels compared to this little guy at the age of 2. For those of you that know me pretty well, know that I don't get out much. I will get invited to these play dates or lunch with other moms and I have gone-once. Once was just about all it took for me to realize that to keep what little sanity I have and not go bat shit crazy, it might be best to limit my public outings with Aiden unless I have my husband or a grandparent with me. Here are my reasons why I am ready to be done with the age of 2:

1-Aiden wants what he wants when he wants it-he does not care that mommy is using the bathroom and can't get him more juice at the moment as he throws his sippy cup at me.... considering I am in a pretty vulnerable moment.
2. He only knows one kind of snack-CANDY- not grapes, crackers, carrots, or anything healthy. He will proceed to scream and throw things until I finally give in because after two hours of crying, I realize this kid is NOT going to give up. I now hide all candy so it is not even an option-until the grandparents come over....
3. When I do hold my ground and stand firm with the answer of No, sometimes Aiden has just had enough and slaps me in the face. So I swallow my pride, put him down and walk away. Let's face it-nothing good is going to come out of that situation and I am now at my wits end. This has only happened twice and it usually ends with Aiden running after me crying saying he is sorry for hitting me. I then regain composure and calmly talk about how we don't hit people, especially mommy. After all that-I am ready for a good stiff drink or Xanax.
4. For some odd reason, Aiden really likes to pick on his 6 year old sister, Sydney. She can be just sitting there and he will walk up and throw one of his toys at her. He has thrown an empty sippy cup at her head and it left a huge welt. Sydney for the most part is a good sport but I am just waiting on the day that she hits him back. True story-Aiden used to have these Weeble Wobbles and he LOVED to throw them especially at Sydney. One afternoon they were fighting and he threw it, she dodged, and it hit our beautiful LED flat screen TV and cracked it-right before Christmas. Yea...that was a whole bottle of wine kind of night. Aiden does not own Weeble Wobbles anymore.
5. He will not nap. It does not matter how much I try to tire him out-he refuses. He goes hard all day long from sun up to sun down. He is ALL boy-loves to wrestle, run, and get dirty. It makes my daily duties impossible to get done because he is always running around. Even if I am trying to scrub toilets, he is standing right there behind me trying to throw his cars in the toilet.
As I write about my chaotic adventures with Aiden, he has been surprisingly sweet and behaved today. We have gone through about 4 rough days this week and then BAM!  Just like that, my sweet Aiden returns and reminds me that this is a phase. A temporary phase that all children go through, some may have it worse than others. I love Aiden with all my heart and I know that sweet baby is still in there and I see him from time to time. I just have to pray for patience and remind myself that "this too shall pass." So all you moms of toddlers-don't feel alone. There are millions of frustrated mothers out there dealing with the same thing. Relax, take a deep breath, and keep some good wine or vodka handy.

Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome

For all you military wives out there, especially the Marine wives, I'm sure you have heard this saying: "Improvise, adapt, and overcome." I'll never forget the first time I heard my husband say that.We were stationed at MCAS Miramar and lived in these crappy, stinky, roach infested base apartments. They were built in 1955 and reeked of mold. Considering my husband was only a Lance Corporal when we moved there-we could not afford to live off base and it was the only thing available to us. The day we moved in I was mortified! I was 8 months pregnant with our first baby and my husband had just returned from a 6 month deployment. We had barely been married a year and THIS was going to be our first house! NO! As we were unpacking boxes this HUGE roach comes creeping out behind the stove and marched his fat ass across the kitchen floor. It scared me so bad that I climbed on top of the kitchen counter(mind you I am 8 months pregnant) and peed myself from screaming. My husband comes running in there thinking I had gone into labor or something and he sees me standing on top of the counter, holding myself and pointing towards the floor. He looks at the floor, sees the roach, and rolls his eyes. Let me just tell you-this roach was GINORMOUS!! And I am still convinced to this day that it was taunting me and trying to claim its territory. No telling how long the disgusting thing had been there! So my big bad ass Marine walks over and stepped on it with his boot. After my superhero husband cleaned up the evidence, he walked over to me and helped me down. I look at him crying and said, " This place is disgusting, I cannot live here with a baby!" He looks at me as he is stroking my hair and says, " Baby-we will adapt and overcome." I looked at him in puzzlement, not really sure what that meant but he was so reassuring that I just rested my head on his shoulders and cried some more. Gotta love pregnant hormones! Later that day he went to the store and bought cleaning supplies, then came back, opened all the windows, and performed a Marine "field day" on our new apartment.
Throughout the years my lovely Marine continued to apply this tactic to our "shit now we are grown ups with babies living 1500 miles away from home" issues. He inspired me with his patience and optimism. I have always been more of a head strong and "my way is the highway" person. He taught me that life is messy and nothing is ever going to be perfect. I began to embrace the "adapt and overcome" motto and was surprised at how much better I felt. We made a drastic change 2 years ago when my husband was moved into the "B" billet arena and took the job as a recruiter. I never imagined that recruiting duty would be so tough. We had been through deployments, surely this would be a walk in the park. WRONG- it took us a good year to work out the kinks and get adjusted. His long hours and absent mindedness are enough to set me over the edge! Learning to adapt and overcome the recruiting obstacles is still a work in progress. I continue to  have my headstrong days where my hubby just bites his tongue and snickers under his breath.  As a military spouse we sacrifice so much for our husbands-planning a wedding in a week so you can move across the country with him, putting college on hold, careers, deployments, moving every 2 years, dealing with kids and the stomach flu while your pregnant and then get it too- but he is in Bahrain, etc. But it is a sacrifice I am willing to live with, because it is for the man I LOVE and ADORE.  People that are not associated with the military will ask me sometimes, " How do you cope? I don't think I could ever manage that type of lifestyle." And my reply to them is," I improvise, adapt, and overcome."

The joys of being a Marine Recruiter's Wife

I have been a Marine wife for 11 years now. I have been through deployments, transitioning to a new state, DITY moves(do it yourself moves w/out help of military-don't ever do it), drama of living in base housing, dealing with sick children(while I was sick myself) when my husband was on the other side of the world, and the list goes on. However, none of that quite prepared me for stress of being a Recruiter's wife. I am not trying to take away from the stress of deployments. My hats are off to all you gals currently enduring that-because it is tough. But being on Recruiting duty is a whole other ballgame that I think most spouses are not prepared for: here is my take on all of it.
1-Don't come into this duty thinking that just because your husband is "non-deployable" that this is going to be a cake walk. He will most certainly put in at least 60-70 hours a week. Those wonderful 7-4 hours with Saturday and Sundays off are long gone.
2- Learn to be flexible. This is still a work in progress for me as I do not bend very easily. Trying to plan dinner with him can be hard. He might say he will be home by 6, but that most likely will turn into 8 or 9.
3-This goes with 2 as well-always add 2 hours to the time he says he will be home. If he says 6, then expect him around 8. Don't start calling him around 7 and nagging about him being late (yes I have done this) because he is usually with an applicant and cannot talk. If he tells you he will be home by 8 or so...then you know it has been a BAD day and I suggest drinking 3 glasses of red wine and watching your fave chick flick to pass the time.
4-Help him remember things and try to not get too mad when he keeps forgetting everything. Recruiters schedules are insane and  they talk to hundreds of people a day. My husband can barely remember to eat let alone when certain bills are due or our kids dance/sporting events. Email him, text him numerous times, or call obsessively while you are waiting in the driveway wondering where in the heck he is!
5-Be prepared for his phone to always ring or for him to be texting someone ALL THE TIME. Their job is round the clock and they always have to have the phone on. Sometimes he will leave his phone laying around and I have been so tempted to throw it in the toilet.
Lastly-no matter how bad your day was or how resentful you are at him for being home at 9:30 after you have dealt with three kids-be patient with him. He may or may not talk about his day, but he has dealt with a lot of stress and has probably maxed out his blood pressure for the entire year in one day. Try to let the negativity go and just give your handsome Marine a big ole kiss and be thankful he is home-even if it's 10:00 at night.

Smile from your Liver

No matter how "burnout" I may feel sometimes-there always comes a little moment that makes me "smile from my liver" (Ketut in Eat Pray Love) and I realize to not take life so seriously.
I breast fed all three of my kids. I was not able to do it longer than 6 weeks with all of them because my body would just not allow it. Believe me I tried but "the girls" were tired...if you know what I mean. My youngest is 2 1/2, so it has been a while since I have breast fed a baby.
Yesterday I was trying to get my 6 year old daughter ready for ballet while my 2 year old is circling her and trying to give her a corn hole (yes I said corn hole!) She was holding one of her old baby dolls with her shirt off and running from my 2 year old crazy son. All the while I am frustrated trying to get her ready and settle my toddler. My daughter holds her baby doll up to her breast and begins to "feed" it. I don't think she realized I was really looking and I asked her in a calm but firm voice," Sydney, what are you doing?" To which she replied," I'm feeding my baby mama." I looked at her and tried to not laugh and said," Yes I see. However, that is for big girls like mama. Let's just feed your baby her bottle for now." She looked at me and smiled," Okay mama, I just remember you used to feed Aiden that way." And of course I giggled and looked at her and said," Yes Sydney I did, and that is how big girls like mama feed their babies."
I do remember when Aiden was a newborn Sydney "feeding" her baby dolls that way and I never really said much. I even recall a few months ago being at the mall with her and a mom was breastfeeding her baby in the food court and how Sydney just stared in amazement! I had to scold her to stop staring! She has asked questions concerning the issue and I of course answer them to the best of my ability. I am pretty open with her to a point-she is only 6!
Little moments like these come along when I am having one of those rough days and make me realize that the best medicine for stress-is laughter! No matter how crazy and chaotic my life can be sometimes, I have got some pretty amazing kids!

Keep up the laughter,
C

Looking for that appetite for life....

I am a huge fan of "Eat Pray Love." I read the book at least once a year. I love Elizabeth Gilbert's sense of humor and honesty. The first time I read it was back in 2007, a year after my dad had died. I lost my dad to lung cancer. He was living in the Philippines with his new wife and we were not on the best of terms. We had not seen each other in 6 years and I had no clue he was sick. I took his death really hard and it sent me into a dark depression. I had my two older children to look after and my husband was getting ready to go on a deployment. We had just moved to a new state, on a new base, and I did not know anyone. I saw Gilbert on Oprah and I was like," I have to get this book!" The next day I went out and got it. I could not put it down! Her views on love and loss with a side of humor really helped me pull through that dark time without the help of any anti-depressants.
Lately I have been feeling run down. I love my kids with all my heart and they are a true blessing from God above but I am just stretched thin. Between all their homework and activities, dealing with a 2 year old, keeping a house, being a mom, and a wife, and also trying to go to college online to finish my teaching degree I am just plain burnout!
I love my husband with all my heart-he is my match, my soulmate. We have been inseparable since we were 19 and I could not imagine a life without him. But I feel like once you get married and start a family, the two of you get so caught up in parenthood and life responsibilities that you lose sight of that "sparkle." Sarah Jessica Parker mentioned that word in SATC 2 to Big about losing that "sparkle" once you get married. I know my husband is burnout too, his job is very demanding and bless his heart, I can see the stress written all over his face.
Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book, ""I need a change, I have no pulse, my appetite for life is gone." Just because I may feel this way from time to time does not mean that I am not happy with my husband and children. I just need a change of pace. Honestly, I think all moms feel this way from time to time. Most are just not willing to admit it. I will admit it however and it is not the first time and surely will not be the last. It is okay to be imperfect and admit that you are just tired. I do firmly believe that God will never give us anything that we cannot handle but I would just like a change of pace.
Till next time,
C

Bribing your kids at the grocery store

I hate grocery shopping! I literally get panic attacks at the very thought of it to be honest with you. Why...you ask??? Because I always have one or all three of my children with me. For example: say you go to the grocery store and you are casually strolling along the aisles then you hear a screaming toddler and a frustrated mom. Guess what...that mom is probably me! I adore my kids, but they are the worst kids at the store! My  9 year old plays Star Wars in the middle of the aisle, my 6 year old daughter is practicing her mad ballet skills beside my 9 year old, and my irritated toddler is screaming that he wants out of the buggy all while I am trying to remember what I need or how the hell I got there!
With all that being said, I think I figured out a solution. Sugar. Not just any sugar, fresh doughnuts from the store bakery. I know it is not the healthiest of choices and blah blah blah. But you know what-desperate times calls for desperate measures! I honestly try not to do it all the time, only the times I am doing my bulk shopping and I am going to be there a while.
Here is how it works-tell them if they are good and listen for 15 minutes, you(mom and now superhero of sugar) will get them a doughnut. After time has passed and if the kids are good, get them a doughnut. One each-too many and you will hate your life once you get home. They are quiet and good again because they are eating and you are almost halfway done with your shopping. By the time you are done, they are on the sugar high but let's face it-you are leaving the store at this point so who cares if they are bad. When you get home, have them help you carry in the groceries to burn off that sugar (kids love to help). After all the groceries are inside, they are coming down off that sugar high and are nice and calm. And that trip to the grocery store was not so bad after all.
Does it make me a bad mom that I bribe my kids with sugar from time to time? Hmmm, frankly I just don't care. My kids are happy and healthy and it makes my bi-weekly grocery trips a little bit easier. So be it!

Till next time,
C

Guilty Confession of the day

So it is one day before pay day-all of us military wives know that there is usually NOTHING in the house to eat! So I decided to take the kids to Jack-N-the Box drive through. I have all three of them in the car with me, hyper, singing, and arguing with each other. I order my food, grab it from the window and drove back home. To my surprise...this happens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWfaiTLPUKQ&feature=related

Naturally...

Well it's been a year and...

Yes I know, it has been a year and guess what...not much has changed except that the kids are older. Last year my resolution was to find inner peace and self happiness and blah blah blah. It lasted all of 3 weeks and then I was just aggravated. I think all the self help books and hours of therapy will not give a person the answer/answers they are looking for. The answer is to learn to be happy in the moment, the moment God gave you. Everyday is a new day and I did learn that it is just important to enjoy it for what it is, another day watching my lovely lil angels grow up and to be a good mother to them. What more can a person ask for out of life than that?
On another note-I finally convinced my lazy fat ass to go to the gym after not going for almost 3 months. After 15 min on the stairclimber, the daycare lady comes to tell me my 2 year old son peed on himself. Luckily for me I brought dry clothes for him just in case. Well after changing him, he did not want to be there anymore. He was crying and embarrassed and just plain done. So we came home and I ate a snickers...yea you read right...a snickers. Maybe it was all a sign to just keep on being lazy.
Till next time,
C