I am a huge fan of "Eat Pray Love." I read the book at least once a year. I love Elizabeth Gilbert's sense of humor and honesty. The first time I read it was back in 2007, a year after my dad had died. I lost my dad to lung cancer. He was living in the Philippines with his new wife and we were not on the best of terms. We had not seen each other in 6 years and I had no clue he was sick. I took his death really hard and it sent me into a dark depression. I had my two older children to look after and my husband was getting ready to go on a deployment. We had just moved to a new state, on a new base, and I did not know anyone. I saw Gilbert on Oprah and I was like," I have to get this book!" The next day I went out and got it. I could not put it down! Her views on love and loss with a side of humor really helped me pull through that dark time without the help of any anti-depressants.
Lately I have been feeling run down. I love my kids with all my heart and they are a true blessing from God above but I am just stretched thin. Between all their homework and activities, dealing with a 2 year old, keeping a house, being a mom, and a wife, and also trying to go to college online to finish my teaching degree I am just plain burnout!
I love my husband with all my heart-he is my match, my soulmate. We have been inseparable since we were 19 and I could not imagine a life without him. But I feel like once you get married and start a family, the two of you get so caught up in parenthood and life responsibilities that you lose sight of that "sparkle." Sarah Jessica Parker mentioned that word in SATC 2 to Big about losing that "sparkle" once you get married. I know my husband is burnout too, his job is very demanding and bless his heart, I can see the stress written all over his face.
Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book, ""I need a change, I have no pulse, my appetite for life is gone." Just because I may feel this way from time to time does not mean that I am not happy with my husband and children. I just need a change of pace. Honestly, I think all moms feel this way from time to time. Most are just not willing to admit it. I will admit it however and it is not the first time and surely will not be the last. It is okay to be imperfect and admit that you are just tired. I do firmly believe that God will never give us anything that we cannot handle but I would just like a change of pace.
Till next time,
C
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