Terrible Two's are taking over my house...

I thought I knew just about all there is to know about the terrible two's considering I have three children. NOPE! I must warn you now: I do not have much of a filter and I tell it like it is-no sugar coating from this girl!

Look at the sweet little face! This is Aiden-my youngest and last baby. He looks just like me! I bet looking at this picture you could never imagine this child being bad. Well let me enlighten you...
It all started last summer when he approached the lovely age of 2. All of sudden my sweet baby boy disappeared and this crazy child re-appeared that frankly scared the shit out of me as well as my husband. After Joe has been home for a little while, he will "pretend" he has to go to the bathroom all the while he is playing Angry Birds on his phone to hide from the madness. You would think considering Aiden is my third child that I would be used to such toddler age obstacles, well think again. My other two were mere angels compared to this little guy at the age of 2. For those of you that know me pretty well, know that I don't get out much. I will get invited to these play dates or lunch with other moms and I have gone-once. Once was just about all it took for me to realize that to keep what little sanity I have and not go bat shit crazy, it might be best to limit my public outings with Aiden unless I have my husband or a grandparent with me. Here are my reasons why I am ready to be done with the age of 2:

1-Aiden wants what he wants when he wants it-he does not care that mommy is using the bathroom and can't get him more juice at the moment as he throws his sippy cup at me.... considering I am in a pretty vulnerable moment.
2. He only knows one kind of snack-CANDY- not grapes, crackers, carrots, or anything healthy. He will proceed to scream and throw things until I finally give in because after two hours of crying, I realize this kid is NOT going to give up. I now hide all candy so it is not even an option-until the grandparents come over....
3. When I do hold my ground and stand firm with the answer of No, sometimes Aiden has just had enough and slaps me in the face. So I swallow my pride, put him down and walk away. Let's face it-nothing good is going to come out of that situation and I am now at my wits end. This has only happened twice and it usually ends with Aiden running after me crying saying he is sorry for hitting me. I then regain composure and calmly talk about how we don't hit people, especially mommy. After all that-I am ready for a good stiff drink or Xanax.
4. For some odd reason, Aiden really likes to pick on his 6 year old sister, Sydney. She can be just sitting there and he will walk up and throw one of his toys at her. He has thrown an empty sippy cup at her head and it left a huge welt. Sydney for the most part is a good sport but I am just waiting on the day that she hits him back. True story-Aiden used to have these Weeble Wobbles and he LOVED to throw them especially at Sydney. One afternoon they were fighting and he threw it, she dodged, and it hit our beautiful LED flat screen TV and cracked it-right before Christmas. Yea...that was a whole bottle of wine kind of night. Aiden does not own Weeble Wobbles anymore.
5. He will not nap. It does not matter how much I try to tire him out-he refuses. He goes hard all day long from sun up to sun down. He is ALL boy-loves to wrestle, run, and get dirty. It makes my daily duties impossible to get done because he is always running around. Even if I am trying to scrub toilets, he is standing right there behind me trying to throw his cars in the toilet.
As I write about my chaotic adventures with Aiden, he has been surprisingly sweet and behaved today. We have gone through about 4 rough days this week and then BAM!  Just like that, my sweet Aiden returns and reminds me that this is a phase. A temporary phase that all children go through, some may have it worse than others. I love Aiden with all my heart and I know that sweet baby is still in there and I see him from time to time. I just have to pray for patience and remind myself that "this too shall pass." So all you moms of toddlers-don't feel alone. There are millions of frustrated mothers out there dealing with the same thing. Relax, take a deep breath, and keep some good wine or vodka handy.