With Arms Wide Open

I was at the gym today and a song came on my random shuffle that I’ve not heard in years: “With Arms Wide Open by Creed.” It took me back to a time when I was barely 20 and newly pregnant with my first born-Joe Mack. It was early fall in 2001 and Joe had just left on a deployment. I found out I was pregnant right after he left. (Literally two weeks later!)

I remember being so nervous to tell Joe, and really not knowing how to tell him?! This was before Facebook and Skype. Back then we only had email. So I sent Joe a message telling him to call me ASAP, that I was not hurt, but needing to speak with him as soon as he could get to a phone. Within two hours he called and had already guessed I was pregnant! He was so excited, but we both cried a little on the phone knowing he would miss my pregnancy and possibly miss the birth of our first child.

A week later Joe emailed me and said he had been listening to Creed the night before. He said that “With Arms Wide Open” had come on. Joe went to explain how afraid he was to become a father so young (we were only 20), but that he was going to give everything he had and more to that little baby. He also let me know that he felt it was going to be a boy and that this boy would be just like him. (of course)

For the rest of the deployment I listened to that song every day as well as sing it to my little unborn baby. I was ready to give this amazing blessing everything the world had to offer. The day I found out if the baby was a boy or a girl, Joe was able to be on the phone with me. As soon as the wand touched my belly-there was no denying this baby was a boy. The happiness in my husband’s voice as well as being able to share this first time experience (even via phone) was amazing. Joe promised me that he did not care what he had to do, or what hoops he had to jump through, he was not going to miss the birth of his son.

And sure enough, 4 weeks before Joe Mack was born-my husband was able to come home. When he left I was a size 2 and when he came back I was eight months pregnant!

It is so hard to believe that was ten years ago! Now we have three kids! And Joe has been present for all of their births! Watching each of them grow into their personalities and listening to their ideas about the world and life is the best gift God could have ever given me. Most of you know that I had quite the health scare over the past few months. Joe and the kids almost lost me in July, but by the grace of the good lord above-God decided my time on Earth was not over yet. Listening to that song today reminds me how precious life can be. I look at my three children and love them more than life itself. I will be forever grateful to God for looking out for me and allowing me to regain my health so I can watch my babies grow up. I will always be there to help show them the world and teach them right from wrong. I will always be there for broken hearts and disappointments. I will always be my children’s biggest cheerleader. I will forever be their mother no matter how old they get-with arms wide open.

Remembering tender kisses and falling in love all over again

Like the 50 million other women in America-I hopped on the bandwagon and read “50 Shades of Grey” a couple of months ago. Holy moly-I was blushing like I was a fifteen year old girl about to get her first kiss! The erotic scenes in that book are enough to set any woman over the edge. I am not a fan nor have I ever tried or will try BDSM. I consider myself a hopeless romantic and enjoy the fairytale with candles, wine, sweet tender kisses-you get the picture. I had been hearing all the hype about this book series in the media and on Facebook and became intrigued. I absolutely loved all the books! Dr. Oz had a special on his show about how this book had “spiced up” sex lives in marriages. And I must say, it did get my mind in that place.However, it was not just about sex, but rekindling a connection with my husband. That spark that draws two people together tends to dwindle down after children and careers come in the picture. It becomes less important and soccer practice and dance class, as well a grocery shopping and late meetings at work take over. Finding time to keep that romance alive seems impossible at times and as the years go by it takes a backseat to being a parent. Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I adore our children! We were married young and became young parents. It all happened so fast along with adjusting to being a Marine wife. Making time for romance and tender kisses were not on top of the priority list.

As I read “50 Shades," it took me back to a time in the summer of 2000 when I had met my husband. The way we would talk on the phone for hours, spent every waking moment together, laughed at everything, and shared many of tender kisses. I remember the torture of spending three months apart while he was in boot camp and how it made us realize that we HAD to spend the rest of our lives together. My husband is my rock, my soul mate, my best friend-this man is my everything, and has been since I was 19. “50 Shades” woke something up inside of me that I honestly believed had disappeared. It helped my husband and I rekindle a spark that has been there all along, it just needed some TLC. I feel like over the past 3 months I have fell in love with my husband all over again. Life will throw curveballs and completely knock you down, but the important thing in a marriage is to stick together-and always make time for tender kisses.

Bribery always works.....

One thing about being a mom to three children that I have come to realize is that I have very little control in my house. No matter how hard I try, or what method I attempt to use, nothing works-except bribery! Sure, I understand that is a horrible way to reach my kids but a mom has got to do what a mom has got to do! When it comes down to needing to take a shower or just simply using the bathroom with three kids screaming and fighting as well as breaking my precious ceramic collectibles all while I am in the potty-I am willing to try anything at that point! So yes-I bribe my kids with suckers or whatever candy is available in the house (we always have leftovers from Halloween or Easter). I put on a movie and say," Here is some yummy candy and if you would like some-then let's sit down, watch our movie quietly while mommy goes to take a shower." Works like a charm everytime! Being able to use the bathroom and take a shower in peace are like heaven to me…So moms-don’t beat yourself up if you feel temptation to pull out the candy jar, I do it at least three times a week! Haha….

You Had Me From Hello

            I’ll never forget the first night we met. It was the first weekend in May 2000. The annual Crawfish Festival was going on and my mother and I had just moved to Spring, Tx. from Friendswood, Tx.  I was 19 and not really sure where I was going in life. My parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce, and I had decided to end a horrible relationship with my high school boyfriend.  My friend Tiffany’s boyfriend at the time, Dustin, had been trying to set me up with you for weeks. I kept telling him that I had sworn off men for a while after dealing with a jerk and then watching my parents horrible divorce. I was at Tiffany’s when Dustin showed up that Saturday night. Tiffany was sick and I was keeping her company. Dustin asked me if I wanted to ride with him to go get food and a movie for Tiffany and I thought, “Sure she’s asleep anyway.” When I walked outside, I noticed Dustin did not have his truck. I asked him,” Whose truck is this?” He said, “Oh it belongs to Joe. I borrowed it for tonight. We have to go pick him up from work.”(He was winking at me as he said all this.) “Dustin, I told you, I am not interested,” I shouted at him. Dustin started laughing at me as we drove off. Twenty minutes later we pull up to the Best Buy parking lot in the Woodlands. You were standing there, angry. Dustin stopped the truck and you shouted at him, “You were supposed to be here 20 min ago!” Dustin just shrugged and laughed. The moment you sat in the driver’s seat I thought,” Oh my….he smells so good….” Then you extended your hand and said,” Hi, I’m Joe. You must be Courtney, nice to meet you.” When I grabbed your hand, instantly I felt a spark run through me. I couldn’t take my eyes off that smile and those blue eyes. When we got back to Tiffany’s, you and I sat outside and talked for hours. We had this immediate connection, like magnets. A week later you took me on our first date. We went to see the movie “Frequency” with Dennis Quaid. That same night you also gave me our first kiss. I had been kissed before, but that kiss from you felt like my real first kiss.

          

 From that moment on-we were inseparable. I struggled a bit during those first few months because I did not understand what I was feeling for you. We were both 19, and our feelings were so strong. I honestly did not think it was possible to find my soul mate at such a young age. But I did, and the Christmas of 2000, seven months after we had been dating, you proposed to me with a silver ring from a gumball machine. You said it was all you could afford at the moment, but you promised to get me a better ring before the wedding. When you proposed to me, you said,” The night I met you, I felt like my life really began. I feel so alive when I’m with you.  I cannot imagine a day without you in it. How would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?” I cried….frozen…..could not believe this was actually happening to me. I swore that I was not going to get married. Watching my parents’ divorce after 21 years of marriage scared me into not believing in marriage anymore. After about a minute of your proposal, I looked at you and said,” Yes! I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the only person for me.” There was one catch to our engagement and planning a wedding though. You were leaving for Marine Corp boot camp, three weeks after you proposed. The day you left for boot camp was the hardest day I had experienced in my life thus far. We had not been apart AT ALL for 8 months, and now we were going to be apart for 3 months with only letters to communicate! No phone calls, emails, texting, only letters-old school style! I wrote you every day, and you wrote me every day. I started planning for a big September wedding and told you all the details in the letters. Finally, 3 very long months later, April came and it was time for your boot camp graduation. I flew with your family to San Diego. The first time I saw you, my heart just melt. That first hug and kiss I got from you was so magical. You pulled me off to the side and said, “I did not think you would wait for me.” I looked at you, astonished, and said,” But why would you ever feel that way? I wrote you every day. You are my world Joe!” You looked at me with tears in your eyes, and hugged me again. After boot camp graduation, you and I decided we wanted to just elope and then we would have a big reception in September. We couldn't stand to be apart anymore. When we told our parents, they were not happy and wanted us to be married in a church. So your wonderful mom and mine managed to plan a church wedding in a week while you were on boot leave. On April 28, 2001-we said I do. It was the perfect wedding, perfect sunny spring day, and we were both so amazingly happy. At our reception, we danced to “You Had me From Hello” by Kenny Chesney. We danced to it on our 4^th date, and it became our song.

 Joe from the moment you took my hand and introduced yourself to me twelve years ago, I fell in love with you. You have given me a life that I never could of imagined. God led us together and gave us three beautiful children. I love our crazy, chaotic, messy, yet so wonderful life. Thank you for being an amazing husband and best friend.  Happy 11 years baby! You truly had me from hello…

Shake it Out

My life has been consumed with stress that last 8 months with three kids, college, and my husband's crazy work schedule. Due to all the stress-my body has been slowly trying to tell me that I needed to take a break. I've had weight loss, migraines, female troubles, getting sick all the time, insomnia, low energy, and no appetite. However, I kept ignoring the physical signs attributing them to just getting older. Last Thursday afternoon, March 8th, I was cleaning up my toddler's toys and when I stood up my chest caved in and I could not breath. I felt as if I was having a heart attack! My husband rushed home and asked me if I needed to go to the ER. I told him that it was probably just anxiety. I had some Xanax in the house so I took half of one. An hour later the symptoms had not really eased up, so I took another half. I finally was able to stop my panicking but the chest pains were still there. First thing Friday morning I called my doctor and got an appointment. I told her everything that was going on so she did an EKG and that came back fine. She assumed I pinched a nerve, gave me some prescriptions, and then wanted me to have an X-Ray on my way out. She said she would call me with the results if there was anything wrong. I went to CVS and 10 minutes after I was there she called me. She said," Your right lung has collapsed and I need you to go to the hospital ASAP." I froze-could not move. I was standing in the middle of CVS, right in front of the pharmacy. I cried and asked her," What does that mean? Am I going to die?" She replied," No, no-please don't think that way but I do need you to go immediately to the hospital." I hung up with my Dr. and just froze with tears streaming down my face. All the people at CVS were staring at me, not quite sure how to react. I called my husband who was at home with our toddler, then called my mom. I literally could not gain composure to put one foot in front of the other to drive home. I finally took a deep painful breath and prayed for God to guide me home safely. As soon as I got home, I broke down in my husband's arms-scared to death. I hugged my two year old extra tight and as soon as my mom arrived-off I went to the ER.
When I arrived they whisked me back, gave me drugs, and inserted a chest tube in my right lung. I was loopy from the drugs but I remember looking at my husband saying," I love you so much, and I AM NOT ready to go yet." He smiled at me and said," Baby I'm a bad ass Marine and I'm not gonna let anything happen to you!" I laughed a painful laugh, then started to drift off to sleep from all the drugs. They put me in a hospital room and kept me hooked up to the chest tube for a day, then took it out the next. After 3 days and several X-Rays-they said the hole in my lung was gone and had completely inflated back. They doctors said there was no explanation for what happened-no blep, no trauma, no disease-nothing. Just a random accident...
When I got home I hugged my babies like I had not seen them in years! They had come to see me at the hospital-but it was not the same as being home with them. My first night home, after my kids were asleep, I had a emotional break down in the kitchen and started sobbing. My husband came rushing in asking me," Are you okay? What's wrong?!" I said," I am just so thankful to the good lord above that I am here and okay! I love you and those kids more than life itself! I have got to eliminate the stress! Life is so beautiful..."
And it is-nothing is worth your health! It is amazing how stress can affect your body not only mentally-but physically as well. The doctor told me that for the first week I had to rest and not pick up my toddler (so hard). My husband took off  this week to help me recover, it's also Spring Break, so my older two are home as well. I am scared though, when he goes back to work, to be left alone. What if it happens again? I feel as if I have PTSD from what happened! However-I can't live life that way!  God helped me get through this ordeal and I know he watches over me and my family everyday. I just pray to regain my strength and "Shake it Out"- because I refuse to allow stress defeat me anymore.

Rodeo Time in Houston

It has been a crazy, hectic, never have time to come up for air-two weeks! Today is the first day I feel like I have a spare minute! My daughter Sydney got to participate in the Mutton Bustin Competition at Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. For those of you that are not from the Houston area-the Rodeo is the biggest event of the entire year for the city. Everybody pulls out their boots and hats to get ready to rodeo! They even have "Go Texan Day" at the schools where the kids wear their best western get up and learn line dancing in P.E. (I know-only in Texas) Every year at the Rodeo they have Armed Forces Appreciation Day and invite all the military families in the area to come enjoy a day at the rodeo for FREE. They even have a food tent with free BBQ just for military families. Such a great way to support our troops and families! Every night at the Rodeo, they have a Mutton Bustin competition where 5 and 6 year olds ride sheeps and whoever rides the longest wins. My daughter along with a few other local military children got invited to participate. There are thousands of kids in the area that try to enter to do this and they are normally selected by a lottery. But because we are military and it was Armed Forces Day-they chose military children. Sydney did outstanding! She came in 2nd place and 1st place went to a girl also. Girls rule!!!! Before Sydney got on the sheep I was trying to pump her up and told her," Hold on tight and don't let go." She looked up at me and said," Mama don't worry, I am going to show that sheep who's boss!" Love my girl! Here is the video from the event and she is in #1. My little cowgirl....

http://youtu.be/L3YgB5ok4DE

Boys Will Be Boys

In my realization about boys, (and men), is that they were born with selective hearing. I can literally be standing in front of my nine year old Joe Mack and tell him,” Brush your teeth,” and even repeat it two more times and he will still “forget” to do it or say he did not hear me tell him to do it. I can tell my husband to take out the trash repeatedly before we go to bed and when I walk by the kitchen after my husband is well on his way to sleep-the trash bag is STILL sitting there untouched!

Boys are loud, hyper, love to get dirty, destructive, stubborn, selective listeners! I always know when my oldest did not have outside recess at school because when he comes home-he is bouncing off the wall, jumping off of couches, and trying to slide down the banister! My youngest boy (the two year old) will pull a chair up to the kitchen counter and climb up to “attempt” to jump off and be like “Superman” as he calls it, if he does not go outside and exert some energy. Some days both my boys will completely set me over the edge and make me want to fix an extra large vodka martini! I grew up as an only child, but my husband keeps reassuring me that this “selective hearing” and “destructive” behavior is normal from boys:

- Boys like to “pretend” they don’t know how to do lots of things that involve chores. I can show Joe Mack everything he is supposed to do to clean his room, but he will look at me like I am speaking Spanish or tell me later,” Mom you didn’t tell me to take my dirty clothes downstairs, you just said to pick them up. So I put them under my bed because I did not know where to take them.”

- Boys love to make sound effects. Battle ships, pretend guns, fart sounds, explosions, or all of the above made at once. No matter how much you tell him to stop-they will selectively NOT hear you. In their mind, they are in the middle of a very important life-saving mission and trying to save the world from an alien.

-For some reason, boys always think they are on a super secret CIA mission everywhere they go, even grocery stores. I can be strolling the aisles of H-E-B and my nine year old will be acting like he is Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. He will slide along the shelves on his tip toes and start making a machine gun out of his hands along with the noises. Apparently there are rogue spies hiding at the grocery store.

- Boys are going to do what boys WANT to do. It really does not matter how many times you say NO. Joe Mack got in trouble on the school bus for being rowdy and was forced to sit up front with Sydney and all the other 6 year olds. He decided to crawl underneath the seat once the bus had taken off to go sit with his friends. Sydney got mad that he did not want to sit with her and told on him. The bus driver warned him not to do it again, and guess what-he did it again and got sent to the principal’s office. Boys live by the motto,” It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” My husband also lives by this motto….I suppose the apple does not fall far from the tree.

-Boys like to hide things and think that moms won’t notice. For example: Anytime Joe Mack gets a bad test grade, he will hide it in his backpack underneath all of his other crap thinking I won’t find it. He has also thrown bad test papers out the bus window on the way home to hide the evidence. However, he is astonished that I always seem to know about the grades without actually seeing the papers. I tell him it’s because I have special powers with eyes in the back of my head and can see EVERYTHING! It also helps that his teachers email all the grades to me….but he doesn’t know that yet….

Boys can be sneaky and destructive-and literally drive mothers CRAZY!!! However, there is nothing like a mother’s love for her son. I know my boys are going to make silly mistakes through life-but it is my job to help set them straight and raise them to be honest, strong, loving men. In the mean time-I will help Joe Mack and Aiden lookout for spies at the grocery store and keep them believing (for as long as I can) that I’m a superhero with eyes in the back of my head…

Everything Else is just Extra

My mom was the ULTIMATE DIY (Do It Yourself) CRAFTY made EVERYTHING from SCRATCH PTO Chairperson, Drill team MOM! She made my own baby food (take into account that this was the 80’s, before the fancy baby food makers came about), bread from scratch, homemade pie with REAL fruit filling, made my own bows along with puff paint shirts and matching socks, she was AWESOME at French braiding and fishtailing my hair. She did DIY house projects from creating curtain holders to making homemade picture frames. She was always my room mom in elementary school, a part of the PTO board, and ran the drill team booster club. You name it-this lady did it. Now with all that being said, you would think, (considering that I am her daughter) I would obviously be that way too….WRONG! For some odd reason, I did not inherit that DO-IT-ALL, crafty gene. I have tried to make bows before with a step by step You Tube video playing while I was in action. It came out to be a tangled clump of hot glue and ribbon that I refused to let my daughter wear. I said, “Eff it-I’m just going to pay the $10 and buy her a bow!”  There are some days; well many, that I feel I cannot get a grasp on anything!  I am constantly on the go between shuffling my older two to school, dance class, baseball practice, chasing a toddler, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, homework, AND trying to squeeze in time to do my OWN college homework. WHEW…. There is no way I could have room for anything extra!

I see some of my mommy friends who do DIY craft projects around their home-( create a castle out of popsicle sticks), make their own baby food, design fancy bows for their daughters, be the Team Mom for their son’s baseball team, volunteer numerous hours at the school or chairperson of a PTO event, have organized grocery lists on their I-Phones and make these gourmet dinners, and some still manage time to go to the gym!

I will think to myself, “How in the world does she have time for that?” or “What am I doing wrong? Why don’t I have time for that stuff?” Now for all you moms that are like that-I have the upmost respect for you, my mother was one. It’s great that you guys can create DIY home projects from Pininterest or making organic baby food and snacks for your kids. Crap-I am lucky to make chicken nuggets and Mac-n-Cheese for dinner throughout the week. And I definitely DO NOT have the patience for some of this crafty stuff, believe me, I have tried more than once and it will sit there half finished for months! After I had my third baby, a lot of my girlfriends were making homemade baby food. I thought,” Okay, I am going to try this. How hard can it be?” Haha…well let’s just say there were mashed sweet potatoes and carrots all over my kitchen because the blender exploded! After all of that, Aiden took a bite and shook his little 7 month old head “No” at me and spit it out! I told my husband,” Forget this crap. I’m just going to go buy it! We did it with our other two and they turned out fine!”

As I approached my 30’s and became a mommy of three, I realized that I will never be one of those crafty moms that can make an old rusty chair into a new eclectic piece for my house, find time to be on the PTO board at my kids’ school, make hair bows or the good ole “puff paint shirts with matching socks”.  I used to be my own worst critic and think I was a horrible mother because I did not do any, or even all of those things.  I asked my mom one day,” How in the world did you manage ALL of that? Or have the patience for it? Lord knows I don’t!” She replied, “I just loved doing it. It made you happy, and it made me happy. But being a mother is one of life’s greatest blessings, SO WHAT if you can’t make a hair bow or be President of the PTO! The important thing is to be a good mom, everything else is just extra.” So for all you mommies out there like me- IT IS OKAY! Motherhood is hard work, the important thing is just to focus on being a good one, no matter how crafty (or not) you may be. My only hope is to be as good of a mom as my mother is to me.  

Roll with the Punches

 I recall when I had my first baby-I was completely neurotic and “by the book.” My borderline OCD personality was in full effect and just about drove my husband mad. I greeted everyone with hand soap and sanitizer as soon as they entered my house. If they wanted to hold my new adorable son Joe Mack, I insisted they change their shirt or put one of my “clean” blankets over their shoulder. I would also wash his crib sheets every other day, disinfect his toys at the end of every day, and if he dropped his binky-I would toss it and go buy a new one. Three years later I had my daughter Sydney. I became slightly less neurotic and just made people wash their hands if they wanted to hold her, instead of attacking them with the sanitizer as soon as they walked in the door. I also did not make them change their shirt and if Sydney dropped her binky I would clean it in boiling water for 5 min-exactly, instead of throwing it away.  I was so obsessed with germs and mommy self-help books that I was also driving myself insane along with my husband, ( poor guy.) Four years after having Sydney and seven years after having Joe Mack-along came Aiden and we grew to a family of 5. All of those compulsive behaviors seemed so insignificant after my 3^rd child. I was lucky to remember to brush my hair or take a shower, let alone worry if somebody had washed their hands before picking Aiden up. I was just thankful for the help and to catch a nap -at that point I honestly didn’t give a shit if my house was “clean.” I felt like I was in a constant state of delirium.

Learning to balance motherhood and three children has definitely made me lighten up.  Don’t let that fool you though-I am and always will be the Type” A” personality, however,  in order to maintain what little sanity I have, here are my tips on “letting crap go” where kids are concerned:

- It is not a great idea to greet your guests (that have come to visit your new bundle of joy) with hand sanitizer and Lysol at the front door. If you would like some sleep and a break, it might be better to just ask them nicely to wash their hands instead. We are not in Contagion and nobody is going to die.

- Just go ahead and accept the fact that your house-will NEVER be clean. There will be toys everywhere, piles of laundry, and food on the floor. Stop acting like the people from Southern Living are coming to photograph your house.

-Kids are going to get sick, regardless of what you do. When one starts throwing up, be prepared that the others will soon follow.  Grab a mask and gloves, wash all the sheets, spray Lysol on EVERYTHING else, and pray you make it out alive.

-  Don’t FREAK if your precious baby puts his binky back in his mouth after dropping it outside.  Always have a spare binky that looks JUST LIKE the other one-that way you can do a 1-2-3 swap, and your baby will never know the difference. Now go boil the dirty one in hot water and relax-your baby is not going to get the Ebola virus from putting a dirty binky in his mouth.

- Siblings are going to fight; it’s a part of life. The quicker you learn to accept this, the easier your life will become (I am still working on this one). There will be black eyes, pulled hair, scratches, and even broken TV’s….just make sure you have some good alcohol in the house to treat yourself,  for really bad days.

- It will become next to impossible to make it on time to anything with a house full of kids. Trying to hunt down clean clothes, fixing miss-matched socks, packing a diaper bag, and dealing with screaming kids that don’t want to go anywhere-makes you reconsider the importance of those errands. If you have to leave, count on being late, take ½ of a Xanax-and breath. You have 3 children; most people will be surprised you even showed up!

- When you get 3 kids together in a house-they are going to be destructive. The idea that they will all sit and play quietly-will never happen unless they are sick. Send them all in the backyard, lock the door, go hide in the corner and treat yourself to some ice cream.

- You are not the world’s worst mother if you don’t feed your kids organic. I know it is important, but realistically kids do enjoy Capri Sun’s and Kraft Mac n Cheese. So, go ahead and let them enjoy it ONCE and a WHILE. Would you eat some of that organic crap? Then why do you think your kids would?

Motherhood is messy, chaotic, and sometimes you might feel like nothing goes your way. But as soon as you hear their laughter or receive those PBJ kisses, it makes all the craziness seem insignificant, or at least temporarily. As a mother you gotta learn to just “Roll with the Punches.” 

Making Time for Cookies

More often than not, intimacy time can be placed on the back burner with married couples, especially if they have children.  For most women, sex is not on their list of daily priorities: work schedules, laundry, entertaining toddlers, attempting to keep a house clean, kids’ homework and activity schedules, grocery shopping and cooking, paying bills-and the list goes on,  I am TIRED! That is the problem with women, we are always TIRED! Mentally and physically, our bodies never take a break. At the end of the day when I crawl into bed with my handsome Marine, the absolute LAST thing I want to do is put on some uncomfortable lingerie that goes up the crack of my ass and be “fondled.” I want to put on my baggy PJ’s, sit there with my favorite book, and enjoy the few hours of peace and quiet!

However-telling your husband that you are tired all the time is not the greatest excuse. My husband is pretty understanding to a point-but he is STILL a MAN after all. He never makes me feel guilty about my “less than amorous” attitude, but he will give me that “look” and I know it has been too long. My husband created a code word regarding the bedroom issue so that the kids never knew what he was talking about, “Cookies.” One night he walked into the kitchen as our children were sitting at the table eating and I was cleaning up and said,” Hey there beautiful…feel like having some “cookies” tonight?” I already knew what he meant by the look on his face, but all three of our kids started shouting,” Mom I want some cookies too!” And I stood there blushing, trying not to burst into laughter. “Cookies” has now become a running joke in the house. I will tell my husband, “Hey if you clean the kitchen so I can go take a quiet bath-maybe you can have some “cookies” later.

Something that I have come to realize over the years as a woman is that I do hold the key to intimacy in my marriage. For most women to feel “amorous”(or at least Type A girls like me)-we need to have the lighting just right, temperature of the room perfect, house cleaned, laundry done, candles lit, be in a decent mood, and not feel like we have been awake for 36 hours straight. However, it comes so easy with men and they don’t care about what their wife is wearing, if she looks bloated, lighting in the room, if the house is clean, etc. Elizabeth Gilbert described it perfectly in Eat Pray Love concerning men and sex,” He doesn’t care what you look like. He is in a room with a naked girl-he’s won the lottery.” 

  I tend to carry a load of imperfections and daily stresses upon my shoulders. I am never able to finish one task because as soon as I start something, my kids are fighting and one of them has pulled the other's hair and screaming (usually Aiden has pulled Sydney's hair while Joe Mack just sits back laughing). By the time my husband has gotten home in the evening, all I want to do is go lock myself in the bedroom and be left alone. However it is important for me to dig deep and attempt to disassociate myself from all the stress. My man needs his wife and whether I want to admit or not-I need my husband just as much. Learning to stop and make time for the “cookies” definitely makes a happier couple.

Life is not about the journey, it's the Arrival that Counts

Life has a funny way of dictating to you sometimes, don't you think? Just when you think you have a grasp on the "great unknown" BAM...life comes down and slaps you square in the face. As most of you know by now, this will happen multiple times. Learning to get up, put your BIG GIRL PANTIES on, and keep going is a lot more challenging than you may realize.
 When I was 18, I had my life all mapped out. I was going to attend Kilgore Junior College and be a part of the Rangerettes, (if you do not know what that is-use GOOGLE) then transfer to UT in Austin and major in broadcast journalism. The rest of my life dreams went something like this: "After UT I will move to NYC and work for the TODAY Show and finish up my masters at NYU. One day I hope to be the next Katie Couric". My boyfriend at the time was the epitome of a Class A Jerk and I was ready to ditch him to the curb upon high school graduation, leave town, and never look back. The day after my high school graduation, my mother informed me that she was divorcing my dad. They had been married for 21 years, but all I said to her was," Well it is about time mom!" My father was an Alcoholic and frankly, my mother and me were just DONE with all of it. I did not realize until later how deeply the words "divorce" affected me. Within a month, my mother was packing up our house and moving into an apartment. I just felt that I could not leave her, after everything she had been through with my dad. So I made my decision: I will go to a community college, then transfer to UT....
A year later we moved to the opposite side of Houston, my mom had a boyfriend, and I dropped out of college. My dad was no longer speaking to me because he thought I was taking my mom's side. He cut off all funds for college forcing me to drop out and I did not qualify for financial aid. My dreams of NYC and the TODAY Show were a distant glimmer. I was 19 and working an administrative job when I met the man of my dreams. He came into my life when I had almost given up all hope on anything good. He was a true gentlemen and showed me that love still existed. A year later he joined the Marines and we married-at the tender age of 20. I did eventually leave town, but not the way I was so certain of two years earlier...
Four months later I found out I was pregnant and my new Marine husband had just left for a 6 month deployment. Honestly, college was the furthest thing from my mind. I was 21 when I had my first child. While all my old high school friends were staying up all night partying at college-I was staying up all night tending to my newborn son. Fast forward nine years- I had two more children, endured numerous deployments, and put college on the back burner.
Finally in 2010, the Marines approved my husband for Recruiting Duty and we moved back to our home town. As I approached my 30th birthday I yearned for something more. I loved my husband and adored my kids, but I felt there was this gaping hole in my chest that no matter how hard I tried-I could not fill it. Forgive me if this sounds cliche, but I felt like like that old Reba song, "Is there life out there?" If you don't know it-here it is:

With quite a bit of coercing from my husband, I finally decided to enroll in college three months shy of my 30th birthday. Going back to college while taking care of three kids has been the most difficult thing I have endured in my life so far. Some of my college professors assign a tremendous amount of homework which I feel I have ZERO time to finish; not to mention that my oldest two have their own homework and a two year old running around corn holing everyone and throwing things. I try to stay up late at night to finish my homework but I fall asleep from sheer exhaustion. Some days I just want to scream and throw in the towel. Why am I doing this to myself?
I honestly don't have an answer to that question, but I am not giving up until I find out. No matter how long it takes me-I AM GOING TO FINISH. I read in Diane Keaton's biography, " Life is not about the journey, it's the arrival that counts." Nothing in life is ever going to be easy. In order to accomplish personal dreams and goals, whether you are 18, 31, or 72, you must be prepared to persevere. I truly believe that God and life know what is best for each person. It may not be the "little girl day dream" that you once envisioned-but believe it or not-LIFE could be EVEN BETTER if you allow it.

The Mack Attack

I have written a lot concerning my 6 year old daughter, and 2 year old son-but have not had a blog post about my 9 year old son, Joseph. We call him "Joe Mack," short for Joseph Mack Van Straten, and he is quite the flirt! Joe Mack is the IV, and my husband is the III, and Joe Mack's grandfather is the II. From the time that Joe Mack was born, he has always had a way with the ladies. I have been told it is a name thing since my husband was that way (until he was caught by me of course) and my father-in-law. The other nickname that circulates our family is "Mack Attack" for obvious reasons. My husband reminds me daily that it is not just a coincidence that Mack is their middle name...oh gag me with a spoon...
This kid has had a girlfriend every year thus far in school. When Joe Mack was younger, he used to talk to me about these girls and kind of giggle about the topic. Once he reached 7, Mom was no longer cool-unless I let him have one of his buddies over to play video games. The first day of school last year (3rd grade), he would not let me walk him to class. This year (4th grade), he would not let me even walk him into the building! I cried the whole way home... My husband reassured me this was normal behavior from boys and that he did the same things to his own mother at that age. It was still hard for me to digest, so I went to have lunch with him... and that was when I discovered-it was all about a GIRL! Geez, what a shocker...
As I am sitting there having lunch with Joe Mack, or ahem...Mack Attack, I catch him glancing at this girl and blushing. I lean over and whisper, "Joe Mack is that your girlfriend?" He looks at me, embarrassed and says," No mom-can we PLEASE not talk about this?!" So, I played it cool and dropped it. Later that night I cried again to my husband about how I felt my oldest son, whom I gave birth to at the tender age of 21, thought I was no longer "cool" enough to talk to about girls. When the hell did this happen????? As a protective mother to my oldest son, I want to so badly to dislike every girl that comes into his life. But this little girl in particular is gorgeous and just the sweetest thing. She just so happens to live in our neighborhood-and ride the same school bus as well. I always wondered why Joe Mack was so excited about riding the bus...
This year Joe Mack and this beautiful little girl were fortunate enough to be in the same class (oh that poor teacher.) I happen think she adores Joe Mack as well just by the way I have caught her glancing at him. She is shy and very ladylike about her feelings, which I just adore! Joe Mack has started fixing his hair, brushing his teeth without being told, and sneaking in his Dad's bathroom cabinet to spray cologne before school. I caught him the other morning before school spraying cologne and putting gel in his hair. As soon as I walked into MY bathroom and smelled my husband's cologne, I asked Joe Mack what he was doing to which he replied," Um nothing mom...I need to grab my library book." And he proceeded to walk away. I found out later that he told MY MOM that this girl really likes the cologne he has been using, it is also the same one my step dad uses. So, he will go and tell his NANA about this, but not me? He will tell his DAD about this girl, but not me? He will tell both his GRANDFATHERS, but not me????
His younger sister does not take to well to him taking an interest in girls either. Sydney told me that one morning as Joe Mack and her were walking into school, the girl he adores was walking beside him. Sydney told me she was just furious that he was talking to this girl and not her. So she proceeded to yell as loud as she could," Hey did you know that my brother wears unicorn panties?" Oh the joys of having a jealous little sister.....
I never thought the day would come when I was not cool enough for my son. I feel like the dorky mom in "Diary of a Wimpy Kid!" But you know, I suppose as long as my son is a true gentleman and has the ladies lining up-I must be doing something right. The generation of "Mack Attack" continues...

Sleep Deprivation-The Worst Form of Torture

Motherhood is such an amazing blessing. However there is one pitfall that in my opinion-is the worst form of torture, Sleep Deprivation. Sleep deprivation is literally defined as a condition of not having enough sleep. (All of you moms out there know what I am talking about.) I sometimes daydream about the days when I could stay out all night and sleep till noon the next day. Now I'm lucky if I stay up past 10 at night, and 7 am is considering sleeping in for me! I bet before you entered the world of parenthood, you never realized that those mornings of sleeping in and taking naps would be LONG gone!?
All three of my kids had colic, my 3rd baby had it the worst. I would talk to these other moms at the playground that would brag," Oh I have the best baby, he/she started sleeping through the night at 1 week old...blah...blah..." I would just give them a smile and say," Aw, that's nice..." all the while I am thinking some very ugly words. I am the mom with the kids that-NEVER SLEPT!!!! My husband and I used to sit back and ponder at the fact that our bundles of joy would never sleep. How is that even possible????
My husband was always a stickler about leaving our babies in their cribs and enforcing the "Ferber Method" (think Robert DeNiro in Meet the Fockers).  I, on the other hand, was so damn tired and would just give in and bring the baby in bed with us. Observe the picture below:

Somebody shared this on Facebook and I thought it was too funny not to share. Aiden is "The Stalker" position (last one 2nd row).
What I find so humorous about sleeping patterns, or the lack of, is that your body becomes so acclimated to it. My mom told me after I had my first child that once you become a mother," You NEVER really sleep through the night again!" Your body gets into a "waking every 2 hours" schedule and never resets itself. I also think as a mother, you worry about your child constantly through the night- "Is he breathing okay? Is she hungry? Does he need his diaper changed? etc." A mother's job never stops, and our minds never rest. As my kids have gotten older, my nighttime worries never go away and I still get up about every 2-3 hours and go upstairs to check on them.
The other night Aiden starting crying and threw up in his crib followed by diarrhea. This pattern continued all the next day and the next night. I cannot clean up throw up-that is where I draw the line. So my husband, being the good sport he is, cleaned up all the "yuckies" for me. Both of us were up for two days straight until my little guy was better and could sleep again. After 2 1/2 days of being sick,  Aiden finally slept again and my husband was out like a light. However, I could not sleep. You would think after two days of not sleeping that I would conk out, but no-I was up checking on Aiden to make sure he was okay.
Caffeine has become my best friend since becoming a mother. I drink 2 cups of coffee and Red Bulls during the day. Sleep deprivation is just a fact of life with motherhood. I say all the time," I wish I could just take a weekend, with no kids, and sleep all day." But you know what the funny thing is-I will not do it. All I think about is getting back to my kids because I miss them. No matter how much I sacrifice for those little buggers-they are my world! So I will continue to live off of little sleep and forgive me if I nod off from time to time...

New York State of Mind

There are a lot of perks to being a Marine wife; some of them include getting to do some pretty cool stuff!  Over the years I have had the privilege of accompanying my husband to: George W. Bush visiting MCAS Miramar (and Joe got to meet and take a picture with him); free tickets to NFL and MLB games because he is a part of the flag ceremonies; getting to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers practice on our base and meet them too; free tickets to concerts and also meeting-Gretchen Wilson, Van Zandt, Shinedown, and KISS.  However, a year ago I took this next opportunity upon myself and for once my husband had nothing to do with it-well kind of…

For those of you that don’t know, Joe and I won a trip to NYC last February and met Kris Jenner and were on the Rachael Ray show.  I am a fan of her show on Facebook and the produces posted a status asking about husbands obsessed with football. Well any of you that know my husband…know he is OBSESSED with the Longhorns and college football. I tell him all the time that he should be a football coach when he retires from the Marines.  I wrote the producers and told them about Joe’s obsession and compared him to Jimmy Fallon in “Fever Pitch.”  Somebody must have liked what I wrote because NY began calling me two hours later! The next thing I knew, I had camera crews in my house filming and interviewing us then 5 days after I first wrote in, I was flying to NYC-on Superbowl Sunday!!! Joe was a little upset that he missed the game and the airline did not play it on the plane. But I kept telling him,” Um hello, free trip to NYC!! “But like I told you…he LOVES his football.

We landed in Newark at 11:30 at night. Flying in we could see all this SNOW! It amazed me, being a Houston girl and all. We had a driver waiting for us that drove us into NYC.  Joe and I were amazed at all the lights and buildings, it was magical. We stayed at the New York Helmsley Hotel in the business district, a few blocks from Times Square and Grand Central Station.  We stayed up till 3 am that night because of all the excitement. We were like giddy teenagers on a field trip jumping on the bed! It was truly hilarious!

The next morning we were up bright and early, still running on pure adrenaline. I got a call from the producer saying they were going to pick up us at 9am for some extra filming; we were not doing the show until Wednesday. They decided to turn our story into a Valentine’s Day show and played on the fact that I don’t wear lingerie much (of course I don’t…I have 3 kids, sex is the last thing on my mind!) They took me to a little store called La Petite Coquette and took Joe somewhere else. The owner of the store shut it down so I could shop-CRAZY!!! I could pick out anything I wanted and the show was going to buy me one. This store is NOT like Victoria’s Secret!  The lingerie is good quality, imported from Europe, and is VERY expensive. Celebrities shop here-not a normal girl like me!  They were filming me pick out stuff and a lady walks into the store and says my name. I look up and it’s Kris Jenner!!!!!  I am looking at her thinking, “What are you doing here??” She starts talking to me and I am trying my hardest to not laugh my ass off! She helps me pick some things out and wants me to try them on. I have to say; Kris Jenner is the sweetest, most down to earth person considering who she is! Then Joe showed up, we showed him the lingerie Kris Jenner picked out for me and that was it. We were free to have the rest of the day and all day Tuesday to explore NYC! The producers even gave us per diem!

http://rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/kris-jenners-lingerie-makeover/

Joe’s cousin, Carrie, lives in SOHO. She was such a blessing because if we did not have family there-we would have been SO LOST! Carrie took time for us Monday afternoon and all day Tuesday to show us around NYC. We went to Ground Zero (which I cried almost the whole time), Empire State Building (amazing), Central Park, and so much more. Joe and I “attempted” to ride the subway by ourselves-which was the scariest 2 min of my life! We walked over to Rockefeller Center  which was BEAUTIFUL! I idolized Katie Couric as a kid and dreamed of one day working for the Today show, so standing outside of it was almost a dream come true!  We also attempted to walk into Times Square at sunset but the Tuesday we had to site see was a very cold day with a wind chill of -3.  New Yorkers are used to this kind of cold but Texans, ARE NOT. As we were walking up, my lower lip went numb and my feet were throbbing. I was talking like I had just been to the dentist and drooling on myself!  I told Joe to get me back to the hotel ASAP or we were going to spend our last night in the ER! After a VERY HOT bath, I felt much better! We decided to spend our last night having dinner at The Grand Central Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station. As soon as we walked into that place we were in awe…literally my favorite place in NYC. It had such beautiful architecture and there was something romantic knowing how old this building was and that millions of people had passed through here! Unfortunately my camera did not take good pictures in there for some odd reason :-(

The next morning we reported to the Rachael Ray studios for filming. We had our own dressing room and I had someone do my makeup and hair! When it was time for us to go out on the stage I was a nervous wreck and felt like I was going to throw up! There were all these people in the audience staring at me! Then Rachael Ray walks up to me and says, “You’re the girl that does not like to wear lingerie! Girl if I had your body I stay in it ALL the TIME!” Of course that made me and the audience laugh and my nerves went away. When the cameras starting rolling I just ignored my nerves and played up the humor! At the end Rachael asked me, “Well Joe says he wants you to wear something sexier to bed, what does he wear?” I said,” He wears T-shirts with holes in them and old boxers!” Everybody laughed so hard! I don’t think Joe liked it too much and I apologized profusely for embarrassing him! It was my way of dealing with the nervous knots!

NYC is an amazing city! Obviously it was cool to be on TV and meet Kris Jenner and Rachael Ray, but I just LOVE that city. If I could land a kick ass job and move my family there, I would do it in a heartbeat.  I am in love with NYC and since last February, I have been in a New York state of mind.  

Terrible Two's are taking over my house...

I thought I knew just about all there is to know about the terrible two's considering I have three children. NOPE! I must warn you now: I do not have much of a filter and I tell it like it is-no sugar coating from this girl!

Look at the sweet little face! This is Aiden-my youngest and last baby. He looks just like me! I bet looking at this picture you could never imagine this child being bad. Well let me enlighten you...
It all started last summer when he approached the lovely age of 2. All of sudden my sweet baby boy disappeared and this crazy child re-appeared that frankly scared the shit out of me as well as my husband. After Joe has been home for a little while, he will "pretend" he has to go to the bathroom all the while he is playing Angry Birds on his phone to hide from the madness. You would think considering Aiden is my third child that I would be used to such toddler age obstacles, well think again. My other two were mere angels compared to this little guy at the age of 2. For those of you that know me pretty well, know that I don't get out much. I will get invited to these play dates or lunch with other moms and I have gone-once. Once was just about all it took for me to realize that to keep what little sanity I have and not go bat shit crazy, it might be best to limit my public outings with Aiden unless I have my husband or a grandparent with me. Here are my reasons why I am ready to be done with the age of 2:

1-Aiden wants what he wants when he wants it-he does not care that mommy is using the bathroom and can't get him more juice at the moment as he throws his sippy cup at me.... considering I am in a pretty vulnerable moment.
2. He only knows one kind of snack-CANDY- not grapes, crackers, carrots, or anything healthy. He will proceed to scream and throw things until I finally give in because after two hours of crying, I realize this kid is NOT going to give up. I now hide all candy so it is not even an option-until the grandparents come over....
3. When I do hold my ground and stand firm with the answer of No, sometimes Aiden has just had enough and slaps me in the face. So I swallow my pride, put him down and walk away. Let's face it-nothing good is going to come out of that situation and I am now at my wits end. This has only happened twice and it usually ends with Aiden running after me crying saying he is sorry for hitting me. I then regain composure and calmly talk about how we don't hit people, especially mommy. After all that-I am ready for a good stiff drink or Xanax.
4. For some odd reason, Aiden really likes to pick on his 6 year old sister, Sydney. She can be just sitting there and he will walk up and throw one of his toys at her. He has thrown an empty sippy cup at her head and it left a huge welt. Sydney for the most part is a good sport but I am just waiting on the day that she hits him back. True story-Aiden used to have these Weeble Wobbles and he LOVED to throw them especially at Sydney. One afternoon they were fighting and he threw it, she dodged, and it hit our beautiful LED flat screen TV and cracked it-right before Christmas. Yea...that was a whole bottle of wine kind of night. Aiden does not own Weeble Wobbles anymore.
5. He will not nap. It does not matter how much I try to tire him out-he refuses. He goes hard all day long from sun up to sun down. He is ALL boy-loves to wrestle, run, and get dirty. It makes my daily duties impossible to get done because he is always running around. Even if I am trying to scrub toilets, he is standing right there behind me trying to throw his cars in the toilet.
As I write about my chaotic adventures with Aiden, he has been surprisingly sweet and behaved today. We have gone through about 4 rough days this week and then BAM!  Just like that, my sweet Aiden returns and reminds me that this is a phase. A temporary phase that all children go through, some may have it worse than others. I love Aiden with all my heart and I know that sweet baby is still in there and I see him from time to time. I just have to pray for patience and remind myself that "this too shall pass." So all you moms of toddlers-don't feel alone. There are millions of frustrated mothers out there dealing with the same thing. Relax, take a deep breath, and keep some good wine or vodka handy.

Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome

For all you military wives out there, especially the Marine wives, I'm sure you have heard this saying: "Improvise, adapt, and overcome." I'll never forget the first time I heard my husband say that.We were stationed at MCAS Miramar and lived in these crappy, stinky, roach infested base apartments. They were built in 1955 and reeked of mold. Considering my husband was only a Lance Corporal when we moved there-we could not afford to live off base and it was the only thing available to us. The day we moved in I was mortified! I was 8 months pregnant with our first baby and my husband had just returned from a 6 month deployment. We had barely been married a year and THIS was going to be our first house! NO! As we were unpacking boxes this HUGE roach comes creeping out behind the stove and marched his fat ass across the kitchen floor. It scared me so bad that I climbed on top of the kitchen counter(mind you I am 8 months pregnant) and peed myself from screaming. My husband comes running in there thinking I had gone into labor or something and he sees me standing on top of the counter, holding myself and pointing towards the floor. He looks at the floor, sees the roach, and rolls his eyes. Let me just tell you-this roach was GINORMOUS!! And I am still convinced to this day that it was taunting me and trying to claim its territory. No telling how long the disgusting thing had been there! So my big bad ass Marine walks over and stepped on it with his boot. After my superhero husband cleaned up the evidence, he walked over to me and helped me down. I look at him crying and said, " This place is disgusting, I cannot live here with a baby!" He looks at me as he is stroking my hair and says, " Baby-we will adapt and overcome." I looked at him in puzzlement, not really sure what that meant but he was so reassuring that I just rested my head on his shoulders and cried some more. Gotta love pregnant hormones! Later that day he went to the store and bought cleaning supplies, then came back, opened all the windows, and performed a Marine "field day" on our new apartment.
Throughout the years my lovely Marine continued to apply this tactic to our "shit now we are grown ups with babies living 1500 miles away from home" issues. He inspired me with his patience and optimism. I have always been more of a head strong and "my way is the highway" person. He taught me that life is messy and nothing is ever going to be perfect. I began to embrace the "adapt and overcome" motto and was surprised at how much better I felt. We made a drastic change 2 years ago when my husband was moved into the "B" billet arena and took the job as a recruiter. I never imagined that recruiting duty would be so tough. We had been through deployments, surely this would be a walk in the park. WRONG- it took us a good year to work out the kinks and get adjusted. His long hours and absent mindedness are enough to set me over the edge! Learning to adapt and overcome the recruiting obstacles is still a work in progress. I continue to  have my headstrong days where my hubby just bites his tongue and snickers under his breath.  As a military spouse we sacrifice so much for our husbands-planning a wedding in a week so you can move across the country with him, putting college on hold, careers, deployments, moving every 2 years, dealing with kids and the stomach flu while your pregnant and then get it too- but he is in Bahrain, etc. But it is a sacrifice I am willing to live with, because it is for the man I LOVE and ADORE.  People that are not associated with the military will ask me sometimes, " How do you cope? I don't think I could ever manage that type of lifestyle." And my reply to them is," I improvise, adapt, and overcome."

The joys of being a Marine Recruiter's Wife

I have been a Marine wife for 11 years now. I have been through deployments, transitioning to a new state, DITY moves(do it yourself moves w/out help of military-don't ever do it), drama of living in base housing, dealing with sick children(while I was sick myself) when my husband was on the other side of the world, and the list goes on. However, none of that quite prepared me for stress of being a Recruiter's wife. I am not trying to take away from the stress of deployments. My hats are off to all you gals currently enduring that-because it is tough. But being on Recruiting duty is a whole other ballgame that I think most spouses are not prepared for: here is my take on all of it.
1-Don't come into this duty thinking that just because your husband is "non-deployable" that this is going to be a cake walk. He will most certainly put in at least 60-70 hours a week. Those wonderful 7-4 hours with Saturday and Sundays off are long gone.
2- Learn to be flexible. This is still a work in progress for me as I do not bend very easily. Trying to plan dinner with him can be hard. He might say he will be home by 6, but that most likely will turn into 8 or 9.
3-This goes with 2 as well-always add 2 hours to the time he says he will be home. If he says 6, then expect him around 8. Don't start calling him around 7 and nagging about him being late (yes I have done this) because he is usually with an applicant and cannot talk. If he tells you he will be home by 8 or so...then you know it has been a BAD day and I suggest drinking 3 glasses of red wine and watching your fave chick flick to pass the time.
4-Help him remember things and try to not get too mad when he keeps forgetting everything. Recruiters schedules are insane and  they talk to hundreds of people a day. My husband can barely remember to eat let alone when certain bills are due or our kids dance/sporting events. Email him, text him numerous times, or call obsessively while you are waiting in the driveway wondering where in the heck he is!
5-Be prepared for his phone to always ring or for him to be texting someone ALL THE TIME. Their job is round the clock and they always have to have the phone on. Sometimes he will leave his phone laying around and I have been so tempted to throw it in the toilet.
Lastly-no matter how bad your day was or how resentful you are at him for being home at 9:30 after you have dealt with three kids-be patient with him. He may or may not talk about his day, but he has dealt with a lot of stress and has probably maxed out his blood pressure for the entire year in one day. Try to let the negativity go and just give your handsome Marine a big ole kiss and be thankful he is home-even if it's 10:00 at night.

Smile from your Liver

No matter how "burnout" I may feel sometimes-there always comes a little moment that makes me "smile from my liver" (Ketut in Eat Pray Love) and I realize to not take life so seriously.
I breast fed all three of my kids. I was not able to do it longer than 6 weeks with all of them because my body would just not allow it. Believe me I tried but "the girls" were tired...if you know what I mean. My youngest is 2 1/2, so it has been a while since I have breast fed a baby.
Yesterday I was trying to get my 6 year old daughter ready for ballet while my 2 year old is circling her and trying to give her a corn hole (yes I said corn hole!) She was holding one of her old baby dolls with her shirt off and running from my 2 year old crazy son. All the while I am frustrated trying to get her ready and settle my toddler. My daughter holds her baby doll up to her breast and begins to "feed" it. I don't think she realized I was really looking and I asked her in a calm but firm voice," Sydney, what are you doing?" To which she replied," I'm feeding my baby mama." I looked at her and tried to not laugh and said," Yes I see. However, that is for big girls like mama. Let's just feed your baby her bottle for now." She looked at me and smiled," Okay mama, I just remember you used to feed Aiden that way." And of course I giggled and looked at her and said," Yes Sydney I did, and that is how big girls like mama feed their babies."
I do remember when Aiden was a newborn Sydney "feeding" her baby dolls that way and I never really said much. I even recall a few months ago being at the mall with her and a mom was breastfeeding her baby in the food court and how Sydney just stared in amazement! I had to scold her to stop staring! She has asked questions concerning the issue and I of course answer them to the best of my ability. I am pretty open with her to a point-she is only 6!
Little moments like these come along when I am having one of those rough days and make me realize that the best medicine for stress-is laughter! No matter how crazy and chaotic my life can be sometimes, I have got some pretty amazing kids!

Keep up the laughter,
C

Looking for that appetite for life....

I am a huge fan of "Eat Pray Love." I read the book at least once a year. I love Elizabeth Gilbert's sense of humor and honesty. The first time I read it was back in 2007, a year after my dad had died. I lost my dad to lung cancer. He was living in the Philippines with his new wife and we were not on the best of terms. We had not seen each other in 6 years and I had no clue he was sick. I took his death really hard and it sent me into a dark depression. I had my two older children to look after and my husband was getting ready to go on a deployment. We had just moved to a new state, on a new base, and I did not know anyone. I saw Gilbert on Oprah and I was like," I have to get this book!" The next day I went out and got it. I could not put it down! Her views on love and loss with a side of humor really helped me pull through that dark time without the help of any anti-depressants.
Lately I have been feeling run down. I love my kids with all my heart and they are a true blessing from God above but I am just stretched thin. Between all their homework and activities, dealing with a 2 year old, keeping a house, being a mom, and a wife, and also trying to go to college online to finish my teaching degree I am just plain burnout!
I love my husband with all my heart-he is my match, my soulmate. We have been inseparable since we were 19 and I could not imagine a life without him. But I feel like once you get married and start a family, the two of you get so caught up in parenthood and life responsibilities that you lose sight of that "sparkle." Sarah Jessica Parker mentioned that word in SATC 2 to Big about losing that "sparkle" once you get married. I know my husband is burnout too, his job is very demanding and bless his heart, I can see the stress written all over his face.
Elizabeth Gilbert said in her book, ""I need a change, I have no pulse, my appetite for life is gone." Just because I may feel this way from time to time does not mean that I am not happy with my husband and children. I just need a change of pace. Honestly, I think all moms feel this way from time to time. Most are just not willing to admit it. I will admit it however and it is not the first time and surely will not be the last. It is okay to be imperfect and admit that you are just tired. I do firmly believe that God will never give us anything that we cannot handle but I would just like a change of pace.
Till next time,
C

Bribing your kids at the grocery store

I hate grocery shopping! I literally get panic attacks at the very thought of it to be honest with you. Why...you ask??? Because I always have one or all three of my children with me. For example: say you go to the grocery store and you are casually strolling along the aisles then you hear a screaming toddler and a frustrated mom. Guess what...that mom is probably me! I adore my kids, but they are the worst kids at the store! My  9 year old plays Star Wars in the middle of the aisle, my 6 year old daughter is practicing her mad ballet skills beside my 9 year old, and my irritated toddler is screaming that he wants out of the buggy all while I am trying to remember what I need or how the hell I got there!
With all that being said, I think I figured out a solution. Sugar. Not just any sugar, fresh doughnuts from the store bakery. I know it is not the healthiest of choices and blah blah blah. But you know what-desperate times calls for desperate measures! I honestly try not to do it all the time, only the times I am doing my bulk shopping and I am going to be there a while.
Here is how it works-tell them if they are good and listen for 15 minutes, you(mom and now superhero of sugar) will get them a doughnut. After time has passed and if the kids are good, get them a doughnut. One each-too many and you will hate your life once you get home. They are quiet and good again because they are eating and you are almost halfway done with your shopping. By the time you are done, they are on the sugar high but let's face it-you are leaving the store at this point so who cares if they are bad. When you get home, have them help you carry in the groceries to burn off that sugar (kids love to help). After all the groceries are inside, they are coming down off that sugar high and are nice and calm. And that trip to the grocery store was not so bad after all.
Does it make me a bad mom that I bribe my kids with sugar from time to time? Hmmm, frankly I just don't care. My kids are happy and healthy and it makes my bi-weekly grocery trips a little bit easier. So be it!

Till next time,
C

Guilty Confession of the day

So it is one day before pay day-all of us military wives know that there is usually NOTHING in the house to eat! So I decided to take the kids to Jack-N-the Box drive through. I have all three of them in the car with me, hyper, singing, and arguing with each other. I order my food, grab it from the window and drove back home. To my surprise...this happens
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWfaiTLPUKQ&feature=related

Naturally...

Well it's been a year and...

Yes I know, it has been a year and guess what...not much has changed except that the kids are older. Last year my resolution was to find inner peace and self happiness and blah blah blah. It lasted all of 3 weeks and then I was just aggravated. I think all the self help books and hours of therapy will not give a person the answer/answers they are looking for. The answer is to learn to be happy in the moment, the moment God gave you. Everyday is a new day and I did learn that it is just important to enjoy it for what it is, another day watching my lovely lil angels grow up and to be a good mother to them. What more can a person ask for out of life than that?
On another note-I finally convinced my lazy fat ass to go to the gym after not going for almost 3 months. After 15 min on the stairclimber, the daycare lady comes to tell me my 2 year old son peed on himself. Luckily for me I brought dry clothes for him just in case. Well after changing him, he did not want to be there anymore. He was crying and embarrassed and just plain done. So we came home and I ate a snickers...yea you read right...a snickers. Maybe it was all a sign to just keep on being lazy.
Till next time,
C